Jesus overload

Yes... my brain and heart and mind and spirit are on JESUS OVERLOAD and I love it! I can't process or write everything... so I have opted not to right at all. ha!

I haven't cut my hair yet so don't freak out... just thinking about it. Maybe March-ish... or maybe not.

but JESUS! So I went to PASSION which was ALL about JESUS and then I went to a camp over MLK weekend. I have been going to this camp, BEHOLD @ Camp Sumatanga, for 5 years as a leader. I love it. It's just a good, fun place. This camp is set up in a cool way. It's for youth. There's a speaker. A worship leader. And all the good stuff. But there's also small groups... more fondly know as SWAT groups! How fun is that. Now... who leads the SWAT groups you might ask. Well.. the SWAT Team of course! The SWAT (Servants With A Testimony) Team are my heart!!! i love it! It's just a group of college/young adults (some of us are getting old) that genuinely love and care about each other and the students. And it's a cool name... SWAT Team! how fun!

I thought 2 years ago was my last year b/c my SWAT group was SO good... I didn't think it could ever possibly be better or that there would be a reason for me to come back.  Me and my SWAT (i'm gonna use that word a lot b/c it's that cool) partner had seniors that year. These students were so AWESOME. so open. so hungry for truth... SO GOOD! So... I thought I would never be back. But God is hilarious and when you ask for something and are seeking something... He is faithful.

My first year as a SWAT Team leader! :) I know I look the
same...

So, Mo, the SWAT Captain (I don't know what to call her... she's just in charge) asked me if I wanted to be in charge of the prayer chapel. HUH? Of course I said "sure" because I will volunteer myself (and you if you aren't careful) to anything! One time I volunteered my college apartment (that I shared with 3 other girls) to house a stranger because I was asked... it's just hard to say no... it's just hard.

Now... the prayer chapel is the most beautiful thing EVER. I have a pic of it somewhere but I can't find it... o well.  It's a smallish, roundish wooden building... and it has an enormous, slightly terrifying, cross hanging in the center of the room that sways back and forth when the heater comes on. i love this place. it's now one of my fav places ever. And... I'm getting ahead of myself...

This prayer chapel is Mo's HEART! She's LOVES this thing and expected big things in and through it.  She didn't know, even at the time... I was struggling with the meaning and how to and the power of PRAYER. I was really confused at why she asked me to head this thing up... but being the good volunteer I am I didn't ask questions.
I had no idea what God had in store for me. Let me tell ya... PRAYER! That's what he had and still has in store for me. That's what I have been learning and am seeing fruit of and am getting glimpses of truth and God's heart for prayer. And... IT'S SO GOOD!
I love youth... ya know... my hubby is a youth pastor... and i love them. So, I thought my whole purpose for getting involved in this camp was YOUTH. BUT He has shown me such greater things through prayer and the SWAT team than I could ever expect to experience or learn by telling younger people all my wisdom... haha!

Through this prayer thing that I thought was just a basic job I have had the amazing privilege of talking to college students, listening, and PRAYING for them. I have heard amazing, joyful, painful, hard, heart-breaking, crazy stories. I have seen the power of God in others' lives. I have witnessed transformation and FREEDOM! It has been incredible and such an amazing and perfect way for God to allow me to put into action what I am so desperately trying to grasp - PRAYER and LOVING PEOPLE!

My God is really CRAZY AWESOME! Jesus is so good. He knows me. He delights in me.  He wants GOOD for us, people!! Hooray!

This year I asked Mo, "why me?" because I just had to know. Did she know I was the kind of person who couldn't say no to volunteering and then feels guilty if I even think about backing out?? Did she just think I was loud and obnoxious and needed a job to do to stay out of the way? Did she like me? I had to know... Her answer: She said she knew my heart. She told me I shouldn't doubt where God has put me and what I'm doing. humble... I do doubt where God puts me and how He can use me in those situations. I must KNOW and LIVE that my confidence and ability and strength is in MY weakness and in HIS HOLY NAME!

I hope my heart learns to beat for PRAYER... to hope in Jesus' name alone... to live solely-focused on Him. I know that my heart won't change, revival won't happen, my town won't change, my church won't change, NOTHING will change WITHOUT expectant prayer!!!! I want to expect God to be glorified here in Troy, AL. I want to believe that God is almighty and that GOING ALL IN for His name is what this life is about. What if I look weird? I WILL... I DON'T CARE. What if no one follows? Their loss! My prayer:

NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS, NOTHING ELSE...

DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH ME

If it's more than His heart... it becomes about my pride

If it's less that want He wants... it becomes about my pride

If it's anything else... what a miserable life

DO WHAT YOU WANT JESUS!!!