Stay At Home Mom - it's a Mission Field!

It's time for another blog series with my friends at Praying Pelican Missions! 

"We, who have accepted Jesus as Lord, are all missionaries! Each of us may not be living abroad or leading mission trips as a career, but the truth is, everyone can be a missionary.  This blog series will span across multiple blogs from our PPM Mission Coordinators and Advocates and will serve to showcase people who are living daily with a missional mindset. We will be giving a voice to a barista, who shares the love of Christ through espresso shots each morning. We will be the platform for a tired mom next door to share how she impacts her child's friends when they come over for a sleepover. We will be the helping hand to a Pastor who wants to encourage his congregation to get involved. The school teacher who invests in his students and wants to see them succeed and know Christ. The janitor who humbly and lovingly listens to his co-workers as they vent and confess their sins to him. We pray these stories will encourage and challenge us all to live our lives as missionaries everyday, in our own unique mission fields!"

First up, I'm featuring one of my besties, Lindsey Jo! Here's her story: 

I’m Lindsey Jo. I’ll be married to my high school sweet heart 6 years this month. He’s a real hottie and makes me laugh all day long. I’m a momma to the two most handsome little boys, Isaac Henry and Grant. And I want to have a whole bunch more. I like watching TV, eating ice cream, making things, telling jokes, and drinking coffee. And I love Jesus.  

My “job” is to take care of those two handsome boys and “make a home” and that’s all.  It’s not always glamorous. Actually, it’s very rarely glamorous. Unless your idea of glamor is wiping butts and making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. But it’s my greatest joy to be a stay at home momma. And it’s a mission field.

First of all, I come in contact with other mommas every week, whether it’s at the library during story time or just at Kroger on Monday morning. We obviously share something in common, so that opens a door to share the gospel and minister to those mommas. Even being able to encourage and minister to other mommas that are our fellow believers is a huge mission field! I’m encouraged all the time by other mommas who are either in the trenches with me or have been in the trenches before. What a crazy, impossible task God has entrusted us with in the raising of our kids! We need each other! For encouragement and wisdom and tangible help. One of the biggest blessings I have received lately is dinners brought to me by my church family after I had Grant. It’s being a SAHM that gives me the time to do those kinds of things, to serve others.     

And then there’s reality. The reality that sometimes, a lot of times, I don’t share the gospel with the mommas at the library because it’s just too awkward. And I can barely get dinner on the table for my family, much less someone else’s. And am I even discipling anyone?! Have I shared the gospel in the last 6 months?!

The answer is a resounding “Yes.”

I think sometimes we’re prone to forget that our babies aren’t born Christians. They’re born sinners. Cute sinners, but sinners nonetheless. They need Jesus. They need the gospel. Isaac Henry and Grant are my mission field. I am praying daily for their salvation. I’m actively teaching them about Jesus and prayer and the gospel. I want them to know that as awesome as they are, they’re nothing without Jesus. And God has entrusted me to teach these boys about him. He has gifted me these two little people that kinda have to listen to me. They can’t leave. They need me. So I’ll meet their needs. I’ll nurse Grant and I’ll pour Isaac Henry’s Cheez-its and I’ll change their diapers and teach them their ABCs. And in the midst of me meeting their needs, I get to tell them about a man who loves them even more than I do. That’s really cool.

So thank for Lindsey Jo and her passion for her kiddos, her hubby, and the people around her!! She is my role model - for cooking, for loving, and for being an AWESOME mom!!

Growin' up in the SoUtH...

There are SO many things I LOVE about growing up in the South - 

• Sweet Tea
• Country accents
• Summer nights
• Short drive to the beach.. the REAL beach
• Lightning bugs
• Potluck dinners
• Friday night football
• Fried chicken
• The word "Y'all"
• Country music
• Flip flops
• Sunday morning church
• Southern hospitality 
• Picnics
• Family
• The fact that if a weatherman MENTIONS snow or possibly flurries, all of us rush out to buy milk and bread.

And many more things... 

I love the fact that us Southerners make up our mind about things and never change... such as going to church, Mexican food after church (whatev), our loyalty to our football teams, and our confusion of why people want to move North (I'll never get that). BUT... there are some things that we have set our minds on and walls that have been built that should be shattered with a wrecking ball (not with Miley Cyrus on it though). 

One of those walls... and it's pretty much the Great Wall of China in some places... is the tension between races. It makes me sick. Racism. I know it still exists everywhere, but in the South, at times it is so strong you can feel it. I know that generations back hurts, offenses, and decisions occurred that affected a nation of people. I am not downplaying that AT ALL! But... why are we still tolerating hatred towards one another? We should have learned from it all. There is no race better than the other. There is no language that is supreme. There is no group of people that should lord privilege over another. There is no one lesser. 

Some people say that segregation is supported in the Bible. Wrong. In the Old Testament the separation that was required was because of wickedness and the beliefs of other nations. The other nations and races positioned around Israel, God's chosen people, worshipped false gods and believed in crazy things... opposite of His Truth and Teachings. They were told to separate themselves... so they would be holy and that their nation would remain faithful to God. Although they were disobedient, the command wasn't based on the color of skin... it was based on faithfulness to God. 

To base our feelings, perceptions, values, decisions, and support of something on the color of skin is ridiculous... it just is. 

Christ died for ALL... every color, race, nation, culture, language, tribe... A.L.L. means ALL! EveryONE. Why would be so selfish and proud to decide who we should or shouldn't love or welcome? 

For the past few weeks, our 5th Quarter events, Wednesday night suppers, and Wednesday night youth services have been more colorful - white and black students - and I have absolutely LOVED it!!! I know some of you are probably like... yea... what's the big deal? Let me tell you... it's a huge deal! Jacob and I have prayed for UNITY within The Church since we began in ministry - UNITY within the church walls, UNITY amongst churches, and UNITY with our community... all people. Literally, we both teared up standing in the back of the room looking at our youth... worshipping together... being together... regardless of differences. Beauty. Truly... it's an answered prayer!!! To see other youth, other people welcoming, feeding, and getting to know them is the BEST thing EVER! 

In Jesus' prayer in the Garden... like THE night he was to be betrayed, he said this: 

²⁰ “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, ²¹ that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. ²² I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— ²³ I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

John 17: 20:23

He was praying for us... that we would be UNIFIED. UNITY shows His complete love for us... and His undivided faithfulness to us. When we stand as just the white church, the black church, the Americans, the Spanish, the Chinese, the _________... we are not showing Christ's love... AT ALL! We must stand TOGETHER as THE CHURCH - colorful, multi-lingual, hobos and royalty, princes and paupers, the young the old, the pretty and ugly. Yes, there are differences in looks, cultures, backgrounds, upbringings, and lifestyles... SO WHAT!?!?! 

When you are against people... kids ESPECIALLY... because of their skin color, ethnicity, or background... there's a problem with YOUR heart... not their appearance. 

So, let's all check ourselves, me included. Where do our judgments and prejudices lie? Are our beliefs about people based on how Jesus sees them or from our own bias?? Are we truly LOVING others? 

Let's be willing to have our walls DEMOLISHED in order for Jesus to shine brighter than our traditions, family beliefs, or our own perceptions.  It's not always easy, and we can look for and find things to support our biases... but Jesus is bigger. Let's learn to see people through the lenses of the Gospel.  

Love & Marriage... 10 Things I've Learned

WARNING: This is about to get REAL... and a little sappy. (I've found a new freedom in blogging... not sure where it came from... but we need some REAL TALK people... so buckle up).

This is one of my FAVORITE wedding pics. No big deal... just singing Backstreet Boys to each other... "You are my... fire. My one... DESIRE." Oh yeah!

I love being married. I really do. It's great. It's definitely not perfect... but's it's so good. Life with my best friend, my leader, my biggest fan. Yep. It's good.

BUT I want to throw some things out there that no one told me before I got married. In our Bible studies with the youth/college, we taught about marriage - we believe it's good to study it before you do it... like a test... a FOREVER test. Good to know what you are getting into before you plunge in! So... here's my wisdom:

#1 - Getting married doesn't eliminate your insecurities... it MAGNIFIES them. 
Us girls... we have some issues. When we see a picture of ourselves or think about ourselves, most times negative words come to mind - FAT. yellow teeth. chunky legs. flabby belly. frizzy hair. weird face. glasses. not enough. TOO much. short. tall. gross. knobby knees. pimples. hairy face. strange shape. ________ (fill in the blank).  Usually we are not reinforcing what God says about us "Let the King be enthralled by YOUR BEAUTY" Psalm 45:11.
So... I thought that when I got married all of those crazy thoughts would go away or at least get better because I had someone - someone to think I'm beautiful, to want me, to be with me, to tell me nice things. Before we got married, I did a 5-month boot camp workout - no cokes, no desserts, exercise EVERY day. I was intense... and fit. Still had major insecurities though... but I thought getting a ring on my finger would solve that... wrong. It magnified them. I compared myself to other girls even more... fearing that the same thoughts were going through Jacob's mind - she's prettier, skinnier, more fun, sexier... WHATEVER. Although he wasn't thinking those things... I feared that I wasn't enough.
I HAD to learn to STOP putting my identity in my looks and what I ASSUME others are thinking (even my husband)... it's inconsistent and temporary.
STAKE YOUR IDENTITY AND WORTH IN JESUS!

#2 - Getting married doesn't magically erase past sin or shame... it affects the PRESENT. 
Anybody perfect??? NOPE!! We all have skeletons in the closet... some a little scarier than others, but we all have them. So... don't judge... just learn.
I had some skeletons before marriage... skeletons that Jacob knew about. But they haunted me. I was terrified... marrying a youth pastor with my issues? Probably not a good idea. How would I talk to girls about staying pure throughout school? How could I? How did I have the right to? I carried my "junk" around like a ball and chain... I was ashamed. I don't know why. I guess it was because I had not forgiven myself and thought I wasn't worthy or "clean enough" to be doing what I was going to be doing. I was wrong.
I carried shame into our marriage... and put up HUGE walls between me and my new hubs. Walls that he could CLEARLY see. Thankfully... my husband loves me enough to talk with me about them. I spilled it all - the shame I had and the fear I had that he may one day leave... because it's happened to others. Breaking down my walls... brick by brick... happened/is still happening because my husband loves me and sees me as beautiful... not as dirty and because my God is doing a MIGHTY work in me.
He has forgiven me. He calls me REDEEMED. LOVED. ACCEPTED. CLEAN. PURE. HOLY. BELOVED. BRIDE. WHOLE. ENOUGH. RESTORED.
Why would I believe anything less about myself?

#3 - Getting married doesn't terminate all sexual temptation... the Enemy is sneaky. 
Although this is not fun or churchy to talk about... sexual sin is destroying the Church and society! DESTROYING. Secret sins... sins that no one can see... sins that can be hidden... temptation that is lurking in every commercial, TV show, website, and billboard.
Lust. Pornography. Lies. Thoughts. Actions. All these things are KILLING marriages. We must MAKE war! Spouses have to be able to talk about things with each other. If you aren't talking about these things to your husband/wife, the CLOSEST relationship you can have on this earth, then WHAT ARE YOU DOING? The Enemy doesn't want to make you sad, or give you temporary pleasure, or mess up your marriage... HE WANTS TO DESTROY YOU. Stand your ground. Fight hard! It's worth fighting for! Secret sins.. ESPECIALLY those that are sexual in nature are crippling and devastating.
We are MORE than conquerors! Romans 8:37

#4 - Getting married doesn't satisfy all of your expectations/dreams... you gotta talk about them! 
In my head... when I became Jacob's wifey... I thought he expected me to be SUPERwoman. House spotless. clothes washed. yummy homemade food each night waiting for him when he got home. catering to his needs.  bed made. underwear folded. always happy. the PERFECT wife. yada yada yada. I couldn't do it. I felt squashed under all the expectations I THOUGHT he had of me.
Finally... I just had to tell him... I CAN'T DO IT!! I can't live up to the perfect wife - the house will get dusty. I am not the best cook. I will do laundry once a week. I have limits...
He pretty much looked at me like "Where did you get that from? I never expected all of that from you? I married you... for you." Oh... so I was suffocating myself for expectations I THOUGHT were placed on me! ASK. TALK. BE HONEST. Your spouse will never be your parent and you will never be theirs - good or bad. Your spouse is an individual and has lots to offer... learn what those gifts are!
Stop putting your fantasies or expectations that cannot be reached on your spouse. They will fail... they are human. You will fail them... we mess up. Marriage isn't what Hollywood portrays... it's better than the movies when it's filled with honesty and HUMAN-ness... not impossible ideals.

#5 -  Getting married doesn't mean you can continue to live a life of independence and on your own schedule... you are a team. 
I'm pretty independent. I'm an only child and have always created my own schedule and lived my own way. In college, I did my own thing, volunteered for everything, was never home, and always on the run. When we got married, I thought I could keep doing my thing... filling up every minute of every day with MY stuff. Yea... doesn't work that way.
I learned really quick that decisions about agendas and volunteering need to be decided TOGETHER. It shouldn't be telling the other what you are doing... it's talking about it together... figuring where it is best to invest your time and when it's best to be home. This was a hard lesson for this hard-headed independent gal to learn.
BUT... when things are decided together, when you support what the other is involved in... home is a happy and healthy place to be!

#6 - Getting married doesn't require you to stop dating... nope... you gotta fall more in love.
I've never struggled with this one. I LOVE dates with my hubby. When he asks if he can take me on a lunch date, on a dinner date, on a lay-at-home-all-day date... I still get giddy. I love spending time with him.
IF you are not currently dating your spouse... do something about it! If you never spend quality time JUST Y'ALL... you need to change that. Your relationship with your spouse should come before any other commitment or any other relationship (including you children). The only exception is your commitment to the Lord (that does not mean if you are in the ministry your job comes before your spouse).
Date your spouse... until the day you die! Fall more in love with them each day.  It's true... I love Jacob far more today than I did on our wedding day. I didn't think it was possible... but dating each other throughout our marriage has made the difference.

#7 - Getting married doesn't mean you stop hanging out with your friends... you'll go CRAZY! 
I see many couples who just get in their married bubbles and stay there. Okay... I love Jacob but if I didn't have my friends, I would go insane!!! There is something that only girl friends can do for us girls. We need each other. We need laughs, inside jokes, long nights of talking, sappy movies, yelling for no reason, pictures together, and time together. Boys need boy stuff - guns, hunting, fishing, video games, trucks, and... all that other stuff.
Don't cut yourself off. It's like a girl in high school who has a boy friend... and is obsessed with him.  One day they break up and she looks around and realizes that she's distanced all her friends. Although you WILL NOT break up because... heads up... MARRIAGE IS FOREVER... don't distance your friends... continue to love them well.

#8 - Getting married doesn't end the fun... it makes it more meaningful! 
When Jacob and I go out to eat at restaurants, we always try to guess who is married and who is dating. The couples dating are smiling and chatting and talking lots. The married ones are usually the ones sitting... in silence... glancing up every few minutes to make a comment... and then focusing on their food again... not smiling much. I DO NOT WANT THAT TO BE US! I love to laugh with Jacob... I actually think he's funny... and boy, does that bring him joy! Fun in a marriage is more meaningful than laughter anywhere else... my opinion. It builds trust, love, and hope.
One of my favorite things this year was going to Charleston this summer with the hubs. It was a crazy trip... filled with lots of hiccups and detours, but I LOVED every second of it because it was with Jacob!
Don't ever stop having fun together! Do things that only married people should do - wink. wink. nudge. nudge. Ha!

#9 - Getting married shouldn't burden you with lists and responsibilities... it should encourage respect and a look from a different perspective. 
Honey-Do lists. Wish lists. To-Do's... be careful. I know my man... he does NOT like to be told what to do. Actually when I "tell" him what to do it makes him want to do it LESS. It's not because he doesn't love me... it's just because he feels like I'm bossing him around.  We have to be careful how we treat each other.
Yes, BOTH spouses need to help out. BOTH spouses have to do their part. BOTH spouses have to support each other and the family. BUT how we approach those responsibilities need to be thought out.  Don't boss each other. Don't hold it over the other. If you are a busy body like me, don't expect your husband to never want to sit down or breath or slow down. Some people like to sit and do nothing (still don't understand this concept). Learn how to approach each other!
****** I've learned a trick! It's my favorite thing EVER!!! If you want your hubby to do something or change his mind about something but you don't want to bring it up because it might cause an argument... but you REALLY feel strongly about it - PRAY! Tell God! It's awesome... and hilarious... when you hubby "comes up with the idea" on his own!! Haha! Really it's because you asked and believed! :)
Disclosure: Careful what you ask for!

#10 - Getting married doesn't stop you from dreaming... now you dream together.
NEVER.STOP.DREAMING. Before, my dreams were me-centered. What I would do. Where I would go. What my dream job was. Who I wanted to become. I'm learning that when you dream together they are even better, more powerful, and more fun! I would have never dreamed I would be working as a missionary with an adopted teenager.  That's so much better!

makes me wanna shout!

This week has made me wanna shout - sometimes with frustration, sometimes with confusion, sometimes with hurt because of what other people are going through, BUT mostly with JOY! Hooray! 

First, happy birthday to the best, cutest, most loving, sweetest, and all the other good words PawPaw in the world!!! 

I'm so thankful for my grandparents - Nanny and PawPaw. Thankful for the examples they have been to all of us. Thankful for their legacy. for their marriage. for their laughter. for so many memories at their house. They love us well. And I'm thankful for my mom and aunts and uncle - they have sacrificially taken care of them over the last 6 months. Are they not the CUTEST??? 

 Nanny and "her man" 

Nanny with her cake she helped mom make for PawPaw's birthday.  Hate we weren't there to eat it with them!  

So READ this crazy God story.  He blows me away.  Why do I ever doubt Him? I just don't know. Why do I limit Him? 

God is FAITHFUL -
Yesterday our adoption social worker contacted us and said Belize needed extra originals of forms that we did not have originals for... Because they were already in Belize (why they needed ANOTHER one is beyond me... but we just do what we are told). 

So... For the first time, I did not freak out. I really didn't. I TRUSTED - Jacob actually freaked out this time. We called Lifeline (our home stdy agency) to try to figure it out and get the paperwork we needed. They were great! BUT Jacob and I are going out of town next week so I wanted to get the papers and mail them TODAY.  When we are told to do something for our adoption, we do it IMMEDIATELY... a delay in this process will NEVER be our fault.  WE WANT OUR ERIC HOME! Then, Lifeline said "To get the papers today would be an act of God, you know that right?" I said, "Yes, I know that." (we are dealing with the government...)
So, I hung up the phone and said, "Lord it will take an act of YOU to have the papers ready today. You are able."
I waited for 2 hours... Got a call... And I just drove to Montgomery, ugly crying the whole way (in a car with no AC which made it uglier) to pick up these impossible papers. I jammed out to Kari Jobe's CD and bawled because God is just SO good. He loves us so much. He LOVES Eric. He is taking care of Him. He will WIN! He will show His faithfulness. He is in control!
Yep, He is in charge of EVERY detail!

Those impossible papers... are now in the mail on their way to our adoption agency.

BOOM! 

This study is RoCkIn' My WoRlD!!! 

I am learning to be a Daniel in our Babylonian world. I think so many people assume Christian living in America is easy, no stress, and care-free... it's all about prosperity and Starbucks. It's easy... because we make it easy.  Living like Jesus in our culture is TOUGH. We are bombarded by CULTURE -

self-centeredness

self-righteousness

self-interest

SELF... ME ME ME ME...

Daniel lived in a culture just like ours - Babylon.  The words used to describe the FALL of Babylon in Isaiah are this: 

“Now then, listen, you lover of pleasure,
    lounging in your security
and saying to yourself,
    ‘I am, and there is none besides me.'

Isaiah 47:8

Sound like the American culture? OH YES! We live in a culture that makes us believe that "I am, and there is none besides me... no one else matters..."  I am busy so you other people who don't matter in the Walmart line... get out of MY way. I want THIS and will do whatever I have to do to get it... because I am... and no one else matters. GROSS! 

We are called to live a life of integrity. We are called to live like Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.  When everyone else bowed down to the gold statue... they stood for the Lord... even if it meant being thrown into the fire! We should live like that - WITH INTEGRITY. We should stand for the Lord when everyone else is bowing down to the gods of culture and the rules of tradition... even if it means a fire.  BECAUSE... GUESS WHAT?!?!

When King Neb (that's what I call him) threw them in the fire (Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego), he didn't see 3 men in the furnance... HE SAW 4 MEN walking around just talking! Jesus (who has, will, and always will BE) was with them! WHAT?!?! That's stinkin' awesome! So... when you stand up for the Lord... get thrown into the fiery furnace... Jesus is right there with you... loosening the things that bind you (the only thing burned on the three were the ropes that bound them)... and refining your faith!! TAKE IT WITH JOY! 

We are in the fire... waiting for our Eric. But... I know with NO doubt... Jesus is waiting with us! He is good. He is refining us like NEVER before.  And I will choose to wait with JOY! I will choose to wait and SERVE. I will choose to wait and PRAISE Him. He is good! 

BE a Daniel in this culture! 

Do you REALLY trust me???

hi there.

So me and God have been talking a lot.
I actually think I beginning to WAIT how He's been asking me to WAIT this whole time... resting in Him.  It feels much better.
I have new hunger for His Word... because it's the ONLY thing that REVIVES me.
I have new passion for prayer... because that's where I belong... in His Presence.
I have new excitement for serving... because that's where He works.
I have new joy for learning... because that's where wisdom lies.
It's good.

But... the more I talk to God and ask Him what He wants with me... I just keep sensing Him ask me,

"DO YOU REALLY TRUST ME?"

A month ago I would have responded, "Yes, I trust you... BUT I think you are letting me down right now... I'm suppose to be going to get my kiddos."  Two months ago I would have said, "I trust you... BUT I'm terrified and unhappy." In December, I probably would have said, "NO... I'm gonna take this all over and do it myself." - BAHAHAHA! That would have turned out well... NOT! September, I would have said, "Yes I trust you... BUT I feel beyond crazy and more than inadequate."

Within the past 2 weeks, God has brought me to a place that I can truly say, YES I TRUST YOU. Whatever happens, I trust You. Whatever you take us to, I trust You. And then I say... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP MY UNBELIEF.  There are areas still occupied by fear, by insecurities, by lies, by my own agenda. He will help my unbelief. He will deliver. But... I really do TRUST Him. He REALLY is good and faithful and loving.  Whatever happens, good or bad, I trust Him.

GOD CANNOT BE UNLOVING TO US! He IS love... and He cannot change His character. He IS faithful... He cannot be UNfaithful. He IS those things. When we place our agenda and dreams and plans on Him... we seem Him through unfaithful lenses and un-good lenses... but that is with our LIMITED, FINITE perspective.  Oh, He is good.

I don't really know what this question means coming from God right now. Kinda freaks me out.  But I can say from the depths of my heart that I TRUST Him. I love Him. I love KNOWING Him. He is my Satisfaction. He is my refuge. He is my Lord. He is the King.

I heard a song my Christ Tomlin this morning called Sovereign... I LOVE IT! Here's the lyrics:

Sovereign in the mountain air
Sovereign on the ocean floor
With me in the calm, with me in the storm

Sovereign in my greatest joy
Sovereign in my deepest cry
With me in the dark, with me at the dawn

In Your everlasting arms,
All the pieces of my life
From beginning to the end I can trust You
In Your never failing love
You work everything for good
God whatever comes my way I will trust You

All my hopes, all I need,
held in Your hands
All my life, all of me,
held in Your hands
All my fears, all my dreams,held in Your hands

So... do you REALLY trust Him? With everything? Your agenda? Your time? Your dreams? Your kids? Your marriage? Your job? Your money? Your... your... your...

Do you TRUST Him that He is who He says He is, that He can do what He says He can do, that you are who He says you are, that you can do ALL things through Christ, and that His Word is ALIVE and ACTIVE in you????

I'm believing Him. I pray with every breath, every day, every... everything... I believe Him. He WILL NOT FAIL YOU! He will not disappointment you! He IS BETTER! JESUS IS ENOUGH!

Sweet Summertime

Just some pictures...

Meet Miss Raleigh Drew Knick! 

She's the newest member of Southside Baptist... and another baby we get to hang out with... and then give back! :)  

If you are into RANDOMNESS and like games... YOU MUST PURCHASE THIS GAME AND PLAY IT WITH ALL THE WEIRDOS YOU KNOW!!! It's the best

We just got back from youth summer camp... We went to Hydrate Camp in Panama City Beach... it was fantastic!

We were a little worried before we went because all the kiddos kept backing out, we didn't know much about the camp, and it just seemed like things were falling apart.  BUT... of course... it was a GREAT weekend filled with lots of Jesus, lots of laughs, and very little sleep.

Here's a picture overload from camp:

We definitely have the prettiest youth group I've ever seen...

Some of the youths played in a 3 on 3 basketball tourney. Here's Team 1  

The Red Velvets

And Team 2.  Kiddo on the right didn't come with us... he just hung out with us because he liked our girls... but... none were interested. And he was 6'6 and 16 years old... so they recruited him for the bball game. 

The Pooper Scoopers

Pretty cheerleaders for the teams.

Look at those skills!!! 

...both teams lost.

We got hit in the face with water balloons. This was fun!  

We worshipped Jesus... A LOT 

One of our guys, Cole, WON THE BELLY FLOP COMPETITION!!!!!  

WE WERE PUMPED!!!! 

Cole is a stud... and had lots of little girlie groupies.  He wasn't interested either...

CELEBRATION OF THE VICTORY! 

We also participated in the Volleyball tourney!!! We all wore tank tops... even the boys... even Jacob. BAHAHA! 

WE WON THE VOLLEYBALL TOURNEY TOO!!!! CHAMPS! 

Yea... we dominated! 

There was a Building 429 concert on the last night! LOVED IT! 

This song basically sums up the weekend:

And here's the entire group... the best group of kiddos ever. We love them dearly and LOVED what God did in their lives this weekend... and our lives. 

worry or SEEK

I'm back... It's been a while.  Ya know... again... sometimes... you just don't want to blog! ha! 

I'm not going to fill you in on the past 3 weeks... that overwhelms me just thinking about it. Ha! And you prob don't care anyways.

BUT... we did have have a Women's Retreat at our church this weekend. It was truly AWESOME!!!! It really was. It just filled my heart so full! We had over 50 women come out for the weekend... to laugh and learn and eat and just be women! It was WONDERFUL! 

We called the weekend the "SEEK HIM FIRST" Women's retreat and we featured Sarah Ott as the speaker.  Check her out... she's AMAZING and loves the Lord like a dog loves a bone... literally! Her website is www.establishher.org! If you need a speaker for a youth girls/women event... she's your lady! 

I had the privilege of planning and leading this event with the other church staff's wives, Kelli and Dawn. 

They are amazing and I'm SO thankful for them! :) So cool how God gave each of us ideas for the weekend and He brought them all together! 

**Hope you like my sophisticated look in the spectacles!!! Was having MAJOR eyeball issues... probably due to lack o' sleep! 

Now... let me tell you what happened and how God just did IMMEASURABLY MORE than I asked or imagined... just in MY LIFE during the weekend.

So... last week I was beyond frazzled. I overbooked myself about 4 times over every night and day of the week. I was FREAKING out about the referral email from the adoption agency... hoping it would come and becoming SUPER anxious about it. I have done... OKAY... since we have sent our dossier while we are waiting for the infamous email.  BUT I did NOT do okay last week.  I was a nervous wreck and, honestly, angry at God. In my mind God was not showing up, He was not working on my behalf... and HE WAS LATE! I believed that if He was big enough He could get us that email if I prayed for it... and He hadn't.  YUCK! As ugly as all of this sounds that's where my heart was. I was believing that He was letting us down, that He Word says that He defends the fatherless and cares for the orphans so I was upset that I wasn't able to go get my kiddos NOW! I was angry and bitter. I was WORRIED and beyond anxious. I didn't even want to spend time with Him... that is so disgusting to even type. 

Over the weekend we broke down Matthew 6:33:

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

This is right after Matthew tells us not to worry about anything... Matthew 6 is pretty much the anxiety chapter. Don't worry... don't worry... over and over again.  And then He says... BUT (so instead of worrying) SEEK HIM FIRST!!! We are to SEEK Him in place of worrying.  Here was my big take away from the weekend that I will remember for the rest of my life:

Worry and SEEKING the LORD CANNOT coexist! 

Period! 

I am either WORRYING or I am SEEKING! 

When I am worrying, I am claiming that He isn't good or faithful... that He isn't even God. When we worry we aren't trusting! When we worry... we are claiming He is NOT who He says He is and He canNOT do what He says He can do! 

When we are SEEKING... we are taking our concerns to Him and truly TRUSTING Him... not just talking to Him about it! We are SEEKING HIM!!! HIS FACE! Not just His hand and His actions... but HIM!!! WHO He is! I do not need to focus on the WHAT... or even the HOW... only the WHO! 

Another thing I learned (I learned alot... I basically preached a whole sermon to Jacob and Stephanie after the first night of all the holy slaps in the face I received) is that the Bible is a means to an end.  JESUS is the END and the destination... memorization of Scripture and knowing the Word is only the avenue TO Him! 

We are to study the Word to know the Living Word! 

Many times I study the Bible to know... the Bible. I don't always study the Bible to know JESUS... and I am missing the main character in it all.  We are to know Him!  His Word is His heart in writing... but too often I get caught up in Bible study... and forsake resting in the author. 

This weekend was incredible... and so refreshing.

I can't wait until the next women's retreat! 

Birthday and Resting...

First... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOST FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD! 

Jacob's day of birth is today! woot woot! 

I love birthdays... especially for people in my house! I love to decorate and eat lots of cake (tooooo much cake last night... ouch!) and spoil the birthday-ee! Our kitchen looks like Party City threw up in there right now, but... I love celebrating! And I love this breaded fella pictured here! :) So... Happy Birthday Jacob! You are wonderful! 

On a completely different note... here's my passage for the week from the Message version: 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Matthew 11:28-30

I know I've shared this passage before... but it means something different to me in different seasons of life. 

Right now...

No... I'm not physically tired but I'm sure tired of waiting. 

Am I worn out? Not physically... but definitely YES in other ways.

Am I burned out on religion? O yes. I am NOT in any way burned out on my faith - I am learning much each day. But I am more than burned out on complacent, mediocre, apathetic, indifferent church-ianity! It makes me bitter. It makes my heart hurt so bad. It makes me mad. It makes me want to vomit. It's not any church in particular...  but when we as Christians ignore the amazing mercy we receive each and everyday and choose to cross our arms and go through the motions we are screaming with our body language that His sacrifice meant little.

Jesus says to come to Him... and that's where I head everyday... or try to. He will teach us to rest... and He is teaching.  He will work with us... in the most gracious of ways.  When I think of RESTING... I think of climbing into bed after a long, busy day and just releasing all your weight and sinking into the fluffy mattress. That is the best feeling ever. That is what Jesus is offering us... to release all our weight onto Him and just... R.E.S.T. 

That is good...

He is teaching me that He is passionately waiting alongside us for Eric and Ziggy. He is always working on our behalf and He longs to be gracious to His children. Adoption is hard... waiting sucks... but Jesus is waiting with us. He holds the orphan's hands and loves them greatly... adoption is His heart... He is waiting too. He is waiting for the perfect time that He can unite our family and continue our story in Troy.  I must rest in the fact that God is for us, that He fights for the fatherless, and that He has called us to this for such a time as this! He is faithful. - but... can I just get a picture?!?!?!?! Just askin'...

He is teaching me to LOVE His church passionately and to show the love of Jesus RECKLESSLY! To not give up or stay bitter... but to press into relationships. To try not to control results of efforts but to trust and rest in HIS power and plan. To not get offended by people's comments or grimaces. To rejoice in the moments of HOPE and CHANGE and PROGRESS. To LOVE His CHURCH! 

I will choose to watch Him and learn from Him...

To learn about grace... unforced

To live in freedom of His peace and guidance...

I will certainly get away with Him and sit with Him... that is where true peace is...

I don't want unneeded burdens that I place on myself...

I am thankful for this invitation Jesus gives us.

Are you tired? Are you exhausted? Are you doubting? Are you fearful? Are your worried?  Busy out your mind?

GO TO HIM! 

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them,“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

Mark 6:31