Love & Marriage... 10 Things I've Learned

WARNING: This is about to get REAL... and a little sappy. (I've found a new freedom in blogging... not sure where it came from... but we need some REAL TALK people... so buckle up).

This is one of my FAVORITE wedding pics. No big deal... just singing Backstreet Boys to each other... "You are my... fire. My one... DESIRE." Oh yeah!

I love being married. I really do. It's great. It's definitely not perfect... but's it's so good. Life with my best friend, my leader, my biggest fan. Yep. It's good.

BUT I want to throw some things out there that no one told me before I got married. In our Bible studies with the youth/college, we taught about marriage - we believe it's good to study it before you do it... like a test... a FOREVER test. Good to know what you are getting into before you plunge in! So... here's my wisdom:

#1 - Getting married doesn't eliminate your insecurities... it MAGNIFIES them. 
Us girls... we have some issues. When we see a picture of ourselves or think about ourselves, most times negative words come to mind - FAT. yellow teeth. chunky legs. flabby belly. frizzy hair. weird face. glasses. not enough. TOO much. short. tall. gross. knobby knees. pimples. hairy face. strange shape. ________ (fill in the blank).  Usually we are not reinforcing what God says about us "Let the King be enthralled by YOUR BEAUTY" Psalm 45:11.
So... I thought that when I got married all of those crazy thoughts would go away or at least get better because I had someone - someone to think I'm beautiful, to want me, to be with me, to tell me nice things. Before we got married, I did a 5-month boot camp workout - no cokes, no desserts, exercise EVERY day. I was intense... and fit. Still had major insecurities though... but I thought getting a ring on my finger would solve that... wrong. It magnified them. I compared myself to other girls even more... fearing that the same thoughts were going through Jacob's mind - she's prettier, skinnier, more fun, sexier... WHATEVER. Although he wasn't thinking those things... I feared that I wasn't enough.
I HAD to learn to STOP putting my identity in my looks and what I ASSUME others are thinking (even my husband)... it's inconsistent and temporary.
STAKE YOUR IDENTITY AND WORTH IN JESUS!

#2 - Getting married doesn't magically erase past sin or shame... it affects the PRESENT. 
Anybody perfect??? NOPE!! We all have skeletons in the closet... some a little scarier than others, but we all have them. So... don't judge... just learn.
I had some skeletons before marriage... skeletons that Jacob knew about. But they haunted me. I was terrified... marrying a youth pastor with my issues? Probably not a good idea. How would I talk to girls about staying pure throughout school? How could I? How did I have the right to? I carried my "junk" around like a ball and chain... I was ashamed. I don't know why. I guess it was because I had not forgiven myself and thought I wasn't worthy or "clean enough" to be doing what I was going to be doing. I was wrong.
I carried shame into our marriage... and put up HUGE walls between me and my new hubs. Walls that he could CLEARLY see. Thankfully... my husband loves me enough to talk with me about them. I spilled it all - the shame I had and the fear I had that he may one day leave... because it's happened to others. Breaking down my walls... brick by brick... happened/is still happening because my husband loves me and sees me as beautiful... not as dirty and because my God is doing a MIGHTY work in me.
He has forgiven me. He calls me REDEEMED. LOVED. ACCEPTED. CLEAN. PURE. HOLY. BELOVED. BRIDE. WHOLE. ENOUGH. RESTORED.
Why would I believe anything less about myself?

#3 - Getting married doesn't terminate all sexual temptation... the Enemy is sneaky. 
Although this is not fun or churchy to talk about... sexual sin is destroying the Church and society! DESTROYING. Secret sins... sins that no one can see... sins that can be hidden... temptation that is lurking in every commercial, TV show, website, and billboard.
Lust. Pornography. Lies. Thoughts. Actions. All these things are KILLING marriages. We must MAKE war! Spouses have to be able to talk about things with each other. If you aren't talking about these things to your husband/wife, the CLOSEST relationship you can have on this earth, then WHAT ARE YOU DOING? The Enemy doesn't want to make you sad, or give you temporary pleasure, or mess up your marriage... HE WANTS TO DESTROY YOU. Stand your ground. Fight hard! It's worth fighting for! Secret sins.. ESPECIALLY those that are sexual in nature are crippling and devastating.
We are MORE than conquerors! Romans 8:37

#4 - Getting married doesn't satisfy all of your expectations/dreams... you gotta talk about them! 
In my head... when I became Jacob's wifey... I thought he expected me to be SUPERwoman. House spotless. clothes washed. yummy homemade food each night waiting for him when he got home. catering to his needs.  bed made. underwear folded. always happy. the PERFECT wife. yada yada yada. I couldn't do it. I felt squashed under all the expectations I THOUGHT he had of me.
Finally... I just had to tell him... I CAN'T DO IT!! I can't live up to the perfect wife - the house will get dusty. I am not the best cook. I will do laundry once a week. I have limits...
He pretty much looked at me like "Where did you get that from? I never expected all of that from you? I married you... for you." Oh... so I was suffocating myself for expectations I THOUGHT were placed on me! ASK. TALK. BE HONEST. Your spouse will never be your parent and you will never be theirs - good or bad. Your spouse is an individual and has lots to offer... learn what those gifts are!
Stop putting your fantasies or expectations that cannot be reached on your spouse. They will fail... they are human. You will fail them... we mess up. Marriage isn't what Hollywood portrays... it's better than the movies when it's filled with honesty and HUMAN-ness... not impossible ideals.

#5 -  Getting married doesn't mean you can continue to live a life of independence and on your own schedule... you are a team. 
I'm pretty independent. I'm an only child and have always created my own schedule and lived my own way. In college, I did my own thing, volunteered for everything, was never home, and always on the run. When we got married, I thought I could keep doing my thing... filling up every minute of every day with MY stuff. Yea... doesn't work that way.
I learned really quick that decisions about agendas and volunteering need to be decided TOGETHER. It shouldn't be telling the other what you are doing... it's talking about it together... figuring where it is best to invest your time and when it's best to be home. This was a hard lesson for this hard-headed independent gal to learn.
BUT... when things are decided together, when you support what the other is involved in... home is a happy and healthy place to be!

#6 - Getting married doesn't require you to stop dating... nope... you gotta fall more in love.
I've never struggled with this one. I LOVE dates with my hubby. When he asks if he can take me on a lunch date, on a dinner date, on a lay-at-home-all-day date... I still get giddy. I love spending time with him.
IF you are not currently dating your spouse... do something about it! If you never spend quality time JUST Y'ALL... you need to change that. Your relationship with your spouse should come before any other commitment or any other relationship (including you children). The only exception is your commitment to the Lord (that does not mean if you are in the ministry your job comes before your spouse).
Date your spouse... until the day you die! Fall more in love with them each day.  It's true... I love Jacob far more today than I did on our wedding day. I didn't think it was possible... but dating each other throughout our marriage has made the difference.

#7 - Getting married doesn't mean you stop hanging out with your friends... you'll go CRAZY! 
I see many couples who just get in their married bubbles and stay there. Okay... I love Jacob but if I didn't have my friends, I would go insane!!! There is something that only girl friends can do for us girls. We need each other. We need laughs, inside jokes, long nights of talking, sappy movies, yelling for no reason, pictures together, and time together. Boys need boy stuff - guns, hunting, fishing, video games, trucks, and... all that other stuff.
Don't cut yourself off. It's like a girl in high school who has a boy friend... and is obsessed with him.  One day they break up and she looks around and realizes that she's distanced all her friends. Although you WILL NOT break up because... heads up... MARRIAGE IS FOREVER... don't distance your friends... continue to love them well.

#8 - Getting married doesn't end the fun... it makes it more meaningful! 
When Jacob and I go out to eat at restaurants, we always try to guess who is married and who is dating. The couples dating are smiling and chatting and talking lots. The married ones are usually the ones sitting... in silence... glancing up every few minutes to make a comment... and then focusing on their food again... not smiling much. I DO NOT WANT THAT TO BE US! I love to laugh with Jacob... I actually think he's funny... and boy, does that bring him joy! Fun in a marriage is more meaningful than laughter anywhere else... my opinion. It builds trust, love, and hope.
One of my favorite things this year was going to Charleston this summer with the hubs. It was a crazy trip... filled with lots of hiccups and detours, but I LOVED every second of it because it was with Jacob!
Don't ever stop having fun together! Do things that only married people should do - wink. wink. nudge. nudge. Ha!

#9 - Getting married shouldn't burden you with lists and responsibilities... it should encourage respect and a look from a different perspective. 
Honey-Do lists. Wish lists. To-Do's... be careful. I know my man... he does NOT like to be told what to do. Actually when I "tell" him what to do it makes him want to do it LESS. It's not because he doesn't love me... it's just because he feels like I'm bossing him around.  We have to be careful how we treat each other.
Yes, BOTH spouses need to help out. BOTH spouses have to do their part. BOTH spouses have to support each other and the family. BUT how we approach those responsibilities need to be thought out.  Don't boss each other. Don't hold it over the other. If you are a busy body like me, don't expect your husband to never want to sit down or breath or slow down. Some people like to sit and do nothing (still don't understand this concept). Learn how to approach each other!
****** I've learned a trick! It's my favorite thing EVER!!! If you want your hubby to do something or change his mind about something but you don't want to bring it up because it might cause an argument... but you REALLY feel strongly about it - PRAY! Tell God! It's awesome... and hilarious... when you hubby "comes up with the idea" on his own!! Haha! Really it's because you asked and believed! :)
Disclosure: Careful what you ask for!

#10 - Getting married doesn't stop you from dreaming... now you dream together.
NEVER.STOP.DREAMING. Before, my dreams were me-centered. What I would do. Where I would go. What my dream job was. Who I wanted to become. I'm learning that when you dream together they are even better, more powerful, and more fun! I would have never dreamed I would be working as a missionary with an adopted teenager.  That's so much better!

A year ago...

I started this yesterday FYI...

This weekend... heading to Matt and Lauren's wedding!!!! 

We started our annual women's summer Bible study. I really love it a lot.  I feel like I'm able to grow and process what I'm learning when I'm not turning around and teaching it during the school year.  It's a time for me to soak it all in... I like that.

But on my way to Bible study... I was thinking about what was going the last time I headed to our first summer Bible study.  You can read my blog from exactly a year ago here.

A LOT has changed in a year. This time last year I...

• was just brought to my knees AGAIN over adoption at Student Life camp
• had not started the adoption process
• had not been to Belize
• had not been to Costa Rica
• had not yet gone through the waiting process of the adoption
• had not had the joy of Stephanie living with us yet
• did not know my girl Jubi
• DIDN'T KNOW THE SHIELD OF FAITH!!!! 
• He is who He says He is! 
• He can do what He says He can do!
• I am who God says I am! 
• I can do ALL things through Christ! 
• God's Word is ALIVE and ACTIVE IN ME! 
• was totally different... 

Literally... a year ago I was with my BFF Emily and I told her while I visiting her that Jacob and I had agreed that we would probably have a biological child first and then adopt.  We wanted to practice on our own genes before messing up "someone else's" child. We thought that might be a good idea...  HAHA. God is hilarious. 

This past year has been crazy... the wildest ride yet... the longest wait of my life... and the richest time in my relationship with Jesus. It has been a rollercoaster... and it's not over yet. I have learned so much... hard to put into words. I am truly a different gal than I was a year ago today. Here's 13 things I've learned while pursuing adoption of our 13-year old son:

#1 God's love towards me, towards us, is great! Like... He really loves us! He really wants to do good for us and through us.  You know the song, "Jesus loves me, this I know... for the Bible tells me so..."  It's truer that we can even fathom! HE LOVES US!
Praise the Lord, all you nations;

   extol him, all you peoples.

For great is his love toward us,

    and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.

Praise the Lord.

Psalm 117:1-2

#2 God is waiting too! I believe God hurts when we hurt and longs to give us things when it is good and is glad when we are glad. He is THE Good Father... and Good Daddies empathize with their children.  I know that God is just as excited to unite us with Eric and Ziggy as we are to have them in our home! And that, my friends, comforts me. 

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

Isaiah 30:18

#3 God is faithful! So so so faithful! After this year and all He has been to me... REGARDLESS of what happens... I trust Him completely. He is completely good and completely faithful. He is perfect! He is love! 

He is the Rock, his works are perfect,

    and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong,
    upright and just is he.

Deuteronomy 32:4

#4 If He calls you to it, HE WILL DO IT! HELLO - He called Jacob and I to adopt... with no money... with no clue how to parent a teenager from a different country... to adopt the sweetest 13-year old from Belize.  He provided (and is still providing) the money, the encouragement, the struggle, and the rich resources. He called us to work hard and to pray with all our might... but MAN! our God provides!! WHEN He calls you to do something and you FOLLOW HIM... no doubt... all your needs will be met in INCREDIBLE ways! Try it... 

By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had embraced the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, ¹⁸ even though God had said to him, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.” ¹⁹ Abraham reasoned that God could even raise the dead, and so in a manner of speaking he did receive Isaac back from death.

Hebrews 11:17-19

#5 I am NOT good at waiting... Yep... just not good at all.  When I think I am waiting... I am really just distracting myself with other things - Origami Owl, more projects, cleaning the house, traveling, etc... All are good... but all are my forms of "waiting"... oops. 

#6 The Bible gives me permission to be CRAZY!!! what what!! This is my verse!! I can't believe it took me 25 years to find it!!!! I think I want a tatoo of it!!! 

 If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit.

2 Corinthians 5:13

#7 I am NOT in control. Yep... definitely not. And when I think I am in control... I go through puberty again and discover MOUNTAINS on my face that you may call pimples! Really... when I try to take over... I revert to 14-year old Anna... pimples and emotional instability! haha! 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.“As the heavens are higher than the earth,     so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9

#8 I am NOT all that & a bag of chips... I am to be selfLESS! Pride is an issue for me. I get into the mindset of striving for self-righteousness very easily. As ugly as it is judging others is a struggle for me. Loving others UNCONDITIONALLY and with ABANDON doesn't come naturally to me... I have to continually humble myself... ugh. Nothing... even the 'good' stuff... can be done with a prideful heart - not adoption, not Bible study, not serving in church, not being nice, not doing the Connection... NOTHING. Seek Him... THEN serve from the overflow... not from my pride... golly... when will I learn.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Philippians 2:3-4

#9  I should NOT go and do until I KNOW God has blessed it! So... I have a lot of ideas... I mean a lot... it's really annoying to live in my mind. This year I have definitely learned STAY STILL until God pushes me. Jesus' ministry was successful because of His relationship with the Father. He didn't move until God said MOVE. He didn't speak until God said SPEAK. The highest form of intimacy and AWARENESS... that's what Jesus had. This verse from Isaiah (one of my fav passages) is prophesying about Jesus... God's anointing was ALL OVER Jesus' ministry.  I must WAIT (there's that word again) to ACT on my IDEAS. I have to dream the dreams/ideas of my Father. Hard to do...

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,...

Isaiah 61:1

#10 I REALLY REALLY like peanut butter... 'nuff said.

#11 FEAR steals our joy, distracts us from obedience, and is a lie. Yep. Fear... it's no good. It will absolutely paralyze you. When I live in the "what if's"... and the "how's"... I will sink. 

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

2 Timothy 1:7

#12 I must seek His FACE... not His HAND!! ...AND NOT WORRY!

 IT'S ALL ABOUT HIM! I do not worship Him because of what He DOES for me... I worship Him because of WHO HE IS!!! PERIOD! If my relationship with Him is based on Him answering my prayers (the way I want Him to)... it's not a fulfilling relationship... it's a parasite relationship with Him... me getting and getting for only my satisfaction. YUCK...
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
³⁴ “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:33-34

#13 He works on my/our behalf!!! I have learned... yes I have learned... that He works on my behalf even when I can't see it or feel it. He is working. He is fighting for me and my family... for ERIC and ZIGGY. He is fighting for every orphan on this planet. He is raising up His Church to be His hands and His family... but He is not sitting back and watching... HE IS A MIGHTY WARRIOR!!! 

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Exodus 14:14

So... there you have it. It's been QUITE A YEAR! I hope a year from now I have tons of pictures of Eric and Ziggy and amazing testaments of how big my God is. BUT IF I DON'T... there will be much more learned and a much richer and deeper knowledge of my God. Either way... I trust Him. 

tHe GiRlS' mInIsTrIeS

On with the story...

I want to divide the posts in the different ministries we did... that will explain our trip in the best way I think! 

So... first up... the GIRLS' MINISTRIES! 

Here we are PLUS Tracy, the other leader! 

Caitlin, Kirsten, Haley, me, Stephanie, Tracy, Presley

READY TO DO WORK! 

Us girls focused on 2 main ministries - children and women! I have NEVER been more blessed AND STRETCHED in my life! To give you an overview of the people's hearts we were working with... we asked the children and the women on the first day we were with them if they had ever heard about Jesus.  VERY few raised their hands or acknowledged that they had.  Only a couple of the children knew John 3:16. They had never been exposed to the Bible stories we have grown up learning... including the cross of Jesus. They were hungry for some of Him! Look at this precious face!!!!! Anabelli made the kids close their eyes to get their jello snack... LOOK HOW EXCITED SHE IS!!! How could we not just want to love them like Jesus?  

Each day we shared a story, with a skit (HILARIOUS) with the kids, then fun songs and games, and finally snack. We chose to focus our days on Jesus and the cross, Jonah and the whale (Jonas y el GRAN PEZ!!!!!), and David and Goliath! The skits were hysterical! Anabelli PERFORMED/TOLD the stories while instructing us how to act them out! It was perfect.  It had everyone laughing... even the women of the village - which was a HUMONGOUS deal!!!! Before we knew of the construction of the church, we had planned for the boys to be involved in the children's ministry - for them to help with skits and playing and all that.  Well... God had other plans. So, the 6 of us girls were stretched and pushed to love and laugh and act with all of our might... without our counterparts' energy and involvement.  God was faithful and it was GLORIOUS! 

There were about 25 kids (I think) everyday who came to learn, play, and just see the white people. :) The little kiddos latched on immediately! There was no hesitation in them to love and to accept and to laugh and to play. BUT... we noticed... the older they got (especially the girls) the more the hesitation grew, the less they wanted to expose their smiles, and the more guarded they acted. I'm not sure when or why it changed... but it definitely foreshadowed what was to come with the women. 

Playing was a favorite of everyone.  My favorite sound all week - better than monkeys in the distance, locusts, parrots, and other rainforest sounds - was the laughter of these people... especially the kiddos. We did children's ministry in the afternoon... so to go from the women's ministry - which was hard... really hard... because of the initial lack of joy - to the children's ministry and hearing their laughter was PERFECT! 

I LOVED this little one - check out her hair!!! It's beyond awesome!!! She had super thick bangs that obviously got in her face.  So the remedy... put them on top of your head!!! DUH!!! I adore her... 

Here are the twins... the cutest sight ever.  They were 2 and you can't get more precious than them! Not only are their faces pinch-able... they were bow-legged and pot-bellied!!!! To see them just stand just melted your heart! But... do not be deceived... these boys can SMASH a soccer ball! 

This is Carlita... but we preferred to call her La Mono!! She was a MONKEY! She climbed people! At ANY given time you could look around and Carlita would be in the arms of someone on our team! Many times you didn't even have to pick her up... she would literally climb you... and then swing from person to person!!! It was HILARIOUS! But... who would really want to put her down anyways??? 

Here's some pictures from our skits and more of the kiddos...

And... although the boys were EXHAUSTED each afternoon... they made it a point to love on those kids. 

NOW THE WOMEN... Oh, my heart!!!! 

The moment I found out we were going to be doing women's Bible study while we were in the village... I couldn't stop thinking about it. I had NO idea what it would look like or if the women would even be accepting of us. BUT... as with everything else on our trip. GOD DID IMMEASURABLY MORE! 

Waiting for the women...

This was a picture on the first day we met the women.  They were beautiful... they really were, but my heart ached for them.  The women are expected to cook, take care of their homes, and tend to the children all day everyday. We found out that the women never met together... only say each other in passing or at events.  I can't imagine not having encouragement and love from other women... and... I have never met a group of people so guarded, no smiles, seemingly little joy, and a complete look of confusion when we told them we loved them... and that Jesus loved them.  We would hug them... and they wouldn't hug back. Some of us would keep on hugging them until they patted us back! haha! VICTORY! We didn't care if they just wanted the white girls to stop hugging them... at least they hugged back! The first morning we made really fancy Gospel bracelets with them.  The girls and the translators were working hard to make sure the concept of each bead was clearly understood by each woman. I, without a translator (haha!), struggled through with a mixture of Spanglish and sign language (that's my go to when no one can understand me) explained/acted out the bracelet. MORE STRETCHING... more relying ONLY on Him to make my words my sense. 

That night... I just asked God to tell us what to do with the women... How could we get into their world? How could we love them in a way that would help them love us back? How could we show His love to them in the short time we had? HOW? 

Wash their feet...

Jesus washed the feet of His disciples to show why He came and the love He had for them.  So... we went by His example.  And... it proved to be the most precious, amazing, (I have no words that can describe)... time EVER! 

Most of the women didn't have shoes and walked EVERYWHERE they went. Their feet were calloused and unclean by the time they arrived to Bible study. Washing their feet, telling them about Jesus and His servant-love, and sharing our favorite verses/testimonies with them was so much more than I had imagined. 

LOVE.

We also gave them Love Letters from the Father (in SPANISH) after we finished washing their feet. It spoke of the promises of God and how much we absolutely LOVES us! They smile and nodded as we read them each statement.

Changes were beginning to take place. We saw smiles...

The last morning we told the entire story of Jesus and the cross.

We made simple, wooden crosses with each woman. They giggled at us and our crafting skills... you should see the amazing bracelets and bags they make! 

Before we left, Anabelli made each woman tell what the week meant to them.  I was thankful she did.  Sometimes you walk away from a mission trip not knowing the fruit of your words and your actions.  These women, who were strangers and statues before, told us we were welcomed there, they loved having us, they loved our stories, and they were encouraged.  Some of them said they heard about Jesus for the first time... and they really liked it. And we, in turn, got to share our hearts about what our time with them meant to us. We told them again and again how loved they were and that we absolutely cherished time with them. Tears were shed. HUGS WERE GIVEN... BOTH WAYS! One lady even learned how to say "I love you" in English so that she could tell us! These women will forever be in our hearts. I can't wait to run up that mountain (I gotta train first) next time to give all these ladies HUGE jump hugs!  Really... words cannot explain the transformations we saw from the first day to the last. They smiled. They enjoyed each others' company. I hope they learned the love of Jesus and that He is with them and sees them. He treasures them. 

These ladies are beautiful. I would LOVE to spend everyday with them... all up in their chores and their lives. This is where my heart is the fullest. 

²⁰ Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21

BRAVE Study - I aM uNdIsCiPlInEd

Week 3 of BRAVE study

Are you undisciplined??? I'm sure we all are in some most areas of our life. If you answered YES... read this!!! :) If you answered no... well you probably should read it even more.


Angela asked us at the beginning of the week how we felt about the topic of undisciplined.  One of my greatest enemies is... myself. I'm very prideful at times so I suspected that God would teach me humility and the fact that I AM SO UNDISCPLINED. I was expecting to learn... and I did.  When I think of the word DISCIPLINE I get an image of a ruler in my head. My mom told me stories a lot growing up and I remember some about getting swatted with a ruler when she did nothing wrong got in trouble. So... I fully expected a ruler to swat my hand/heart a few times... I was right. 


We all struggle with some area of undiscipline. 
What's your list? Maybe they are similar to mine:
eating habits * exercise * writing letters to friends * calling people I love * cleaning * focusing  on the important things * (and more)


God can change every lack of discipline in our lives and be the strength we have not known. I loved this quote from the book because often the strength I know is MINE... not very reliable. I am weak. He is STRENGTH.


In Romans 7, Paul describes my brain - there's a war everyday about doing the things he doesn't want to do and not doing the things he wants to do... (you have to read that passage like 4 times b/c it's like the fuzzy wuzzy was a bear rhyme... just craziness but so good!)
Paul said that our ONLY rescue from the war in our flesh comes from God through Jesus Christ.  Maybe you can't stop eating chocolate. Maybe you make constant excuses for not reading the Word. Maybe you are lazy. No matter how many areas of undiscipline you can think of, Jesus is the answer. No matter how many years you have struggled, Jesus is the answer. No matter how discouraged you may be, Jesus IS THE ONLY ANSWER. 


Many of us struggle with lack of discipline because we have given control to something else. Jacob talked on this with the youth last night. Many people will pray the prayer and believe they are saved, but their lives are still about them. God doesn't have control.  Many times, we, as brave Christian women give control to other things and people in our lives. Why? We put so much trust in stupid things. Think about it, everyday we trust - elevators, chairs, cars, the people around us driving, computers, banks, etc... but we don't trust the King of the Universe who made it ALL and knows us INTIMATELY! That makes NO sense! 
We are obviously weak, but striving to be BRAVE, women. Our strength can only come from ONE source! ONE - and that's not us, or a relationship, or a job, or a circumstance... it's CHRIST! He is strength. He is bigger. He is our refuge. He is our discipline. Strength comes from humility and obedience to Him. He is more than enough.

Strength and Discipline comes from Holy Dependence:

*my favorite thing of the week*

What if on this earth we will never be completely disciplined in every area of our lives at the same time? And what if that's on purpose? A design element. A Creator component. An intentional decision by our God so that a HOLY DEPENDENCE is required for us to mature toward each new place of discipline.  

Maybe God allows my lack of discipline because it keeps me running to Him. His strength is the source by which I will grow into greater discipline.  He makes me able to take the next BRAVE step.  Maybe if I work up tomorrow completely disciplined, perfected even, I would think more about myself and my great accomplishment and less about God and how much I need Him.

I do not speak for God, and the Scriptures do not elaborate here, but what if a perfectly disciplined life was never God's intent? What if He intended HOLY DEPENDENCE for life-long growth toward Himself?

GROW TOWARDS HIM. Run to Him... weaknesses and all.

A thorn???? Um... still a little confused

This week's Brave topic was:

I am suffering a thorn

okay.


Paul talked about suffering a thorn in 2 corinthians. He begged for God to remove it... didn't happen because God was teaching and revealing to Paul that HE is sufficient in WEAKNESS!! 

Angela acknowledges that some women will be perplexed (good work huh?) about this subject... YEP! 


She describes a thorn as someone, something, a sin, etc that is constantly there and causes pain, doubt, discouragement CONSISTENTLY. 


I thought and thought and thought... and OF COURSE I have issues. Yes, people get on my nerves sometimes. Yes, there are relationships in my life that aren't good. Yes, I am insecure but that doesn't control me. but... a thorn?? Not sure.  There is ONE thing in my life currently that causes pain and doubt and trouble - not gonna explain any details about this... maybe one day - so as I went through the study I applied the material to that one thing.  I don't know if it is "correct," but it's what happened. :)


Angela really emphasized a few things

• A thorn cannot be removed by your own power 
• The originator of the thorn is SATAN
• A thorn torments the soul with pain and doubt
• A thorn weaves discouragement into your heart
• The piercing of a thorn produces weakness
• God decides when to remove a thorn

I don't know if you are experiencing a THORN... you can definitely tell me about it if you are! But, the most important things I took from this week relates to the result of a thorn when you give it to God - 

His GRACE is Sufficient!!! Hooray!! 

God promises over and over in His Word that He works for the GOOD! He uses evil for GOOD. His grace is seen in our weakness and in our submission to Him.  Whatever is in your past or your present or your future that is "bad" GOD WILL MAKE IT SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL - just like a rose in the midst of the thorns!!! 

The reason God allowed Paul to experience the "thorn in his flesh" was to keep him from becoming CONCEITED.  God CALLS us to humility!!!!! 

This is soo cool: Humility is a part of the character of God! 

Psalm 113:

¹ Praise the Lord!
   Yes, give praise, O servants of the Lord.
      Praise the name of the Lord!
 ² Blessed be the name of the Lord
      now and forever.
 ³ Everywhere—from east to west—
      praise the name of the Lord.
 ⁴ For the Lord is high above the nations;
      his glory is higher than the heavens.
 ⁵ Who can be compared with the Lord our God,
      who is enthroned on high?
 ⁶ He stoops to look down
      on heaven and on earth...


The LORD STOOPS DOWN! He humbles Himself to know us. To love us. WOW!!! Cool, huh??? He calls us to be humble so we can be more like Him. 


Throughout the Old Testament God promises HONOR to the humble (Proverbs 15:33, 18:12, 29:23).

Those who have humility:

Are regarded by God (Isaiah 66:2)

Are delivered by God (Job 22:29)

Are lifted up by God (James 4:10)

Are exalted by God (Luke 14:11)

Are the greatest in God's kingdom (Matthew 18:4)

Receive more grace (Proverbs 3:34)

Are upheld by honor (proverbs 18:12)

and my favorite....

ENJOY THE PRESENCE OF GOD 

The high and lofty one who lives in eternity,
      the Holy One, says this:
   “I live in the high and holy place
      with those whose spirits are contrite and humble.
   I restore the crushed spirit of the humble
      and revive the courage of those with repentant hearts.

Isaiah 57:15

I love the words RESTORE and REVIVE and I need them daily.  We all need courage and we all need His presence.




Humility finds its origin in the character of God.  God adds blessgings to the humble.  Acceptance of our circumstances gives us humility.  WE are to put on this valuable attribute and wear our humility to bring GLORY TO GOD.


God is all-powerful and when He brings power to your weakness, BUCKLE UP. You will see mountains move and hearts of stone made new.


This is so true. In the thing I decided was my thorn - I claimed God was who He says He is and I claimed that He is powerful and I prayed and I trusted and I have seen VICTORY! 
That has been a word that I have cherished over the past year... V.I.C.T.O.R.Y.
Victory over sin, over doubt, over fear, over shame brings beauty, glory, honestly, goodness, and restoration. 


I pray for whatever your thorn or situation is that you will see victory and healing and that HE IS SUFFICIENT. HE IS ENOUGH. HE IS GOOD.