worry or SEEK

I'm back... It's been a while.  Ya know... again... sometimes... you just don't want to blog! ha! 

I'm not going to fill you in on the past 3 weeks... that overwhelms me just thinking about it. Ha! And you prob don't care anyways.

BUT... we did have have a Women's Retreat at our church this weekend. It was truly AWESOME!!!! It really was. It just filled my heart so full! We had over 50 women come out for the weekend... to laugh and learn and eat and just be women! It was WONDERFUL! 

We called the weekend the "SEEK HIM FIRST" Women's retreat and we featured Sarah Ott as the speaker.  Check her out... she's AMAZING and loves the Lord like a dog loves a bone... literally! Her website is www.establishher.org! If you need a speaker for a youth girls/women event... she's your lady! 

I had the privilege of planning and leading this event with the other church staff's wives, Kelli and Dawn. 

They are amazing and I'm SO thankful for them! :) So cool how God gave each of us ideas for the weekend and He brought them all together! 

**Hope you like my sophisticated look in the spectacles!!! Was having MAJOR eyeball issues... probably due to lack o' sleep! 

Now... let me tell you what happened and how God just did IMMEASURABLY MORE than I asked or imagined... just in MY LIFE during the weekend.

So... last week I was beyond frazzled. I overbooked myself about 4 times over every night and day of the week. I was FREAKING out about the referral email from the adoption agency... hoping it would come and becoming SUPER anxious about it. I have done... OKAY... since we have sent our dossier while we are waiting for the infamous email.  BUT I did NOT do okay last week.  I was a nervous wreck and, honestly, angry at God. In my mind God was not showing up, He was not working on my behalf... and HE WAS LATE! I believed that if He was big enough He could get us that email if I prayed for it... and He hadn't.  YUCK! As ugly as all of this sounds that's where my heart was. I was believing that He was letting us down, that He Word says that He defends the fatherless and cares for the orphans so I was upset that I wasn't able to go get my kiddos NOW! I was angry and bitter. I was WORRIED and beyond anxious. I didn't even want to spend time with Him... that is so disgusting to even type. 

Over the weekend we broke down Matthew 6:33:

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

This is right after Matthew tells us not to worry about anything... Matthew 6 is pretty much the anxiety chapter. Don't worry... don't worry... over and over again.  And then He says... BUT (so instead of worrying) SEEK HIM FIRST!!! We are to SEEK Him in place of worrying.  Here was my big take away from the weekend that I will remember for the rest of my life:

Worry and SEEKING the LORD CANNOT coexist! 

Period! 

I am either WORRYING or I am SEEKING! 

When I am worrying, I am claiming that He isn't good or faithful... that He isn't even God. When we worry we aren't trusting! When we worry... we are claiming He is NOT who He says He is and He canNOT do what He says He can do! 

When we are SEEKING... we are taking our concerns to Him and truly TRUSTING Him... not just talking to Him about it! We are SEEKING HIM!!! HIS FACE! Not just His hand and His actions... but HIM!!! WHO He is! I do not need to focus on the WHAT... or even the HOW... only the WHO! 

Another thing I learned (I learned alot... I basically preached a whole sermon to Jacob and Stephanie after the first night of all the holy slaps in the face I received) is that the Bible is a means to an end.  JESUS is the END and the destination... memorization of Scripture and knowing the Word is only the avenue TO Him! 

We are to study the Word to know the Living Word! 

Many times I study the Bible to know... the Bible. I don't always study the Bible to know JESUS... and I am missing the main character in it all.  We are to know Him!  His Word is His heart in writing... but too often I get caught up in Bible study... and forsake resting in the author. 

This weekend was incredible... and so refreshing.

I can't wait until the next women's retreat!