Freedom In Surrender!

First, happy birthday yesterday to one of my favorite people, Kelli! Thankful for my friend!!! Thankful for my pastor's wife!!! Thankful for our relationship... we are each other's comfort here in Troy! :) She's preggers BTW!!! YAY! 

Yep... FREEDOM IN SURRENDER! 

Usually when I think of surrender, I picture someone waving a little white handkerchief, symbolizing weakness and giving up... leading them to captivity under the enemy. Well... not with Jesus. You know, He likes to mix everything up... he likes oxymorons.. so, Surrender is Freedom. Let me explain...

Before Christmas... I literally felt CRAZY with anxiety... CRAZY... really! Anxious over the adoption... mad because we didn't have a picture of our cute fella... nervous that our paperwork was taking so long... upset because I couldn't control it... and just frazzled because that's how I am.  God FINALLY got my attention after a few melt downs... and said HEY! THIS IS MY ADOPTION JOURNEY... I JUST INVITED YOU TO BE A PART OF IT! I LOVE YOU. I FIGHT FOR THE ORPHANS. I WILL HAVE VICTORY OVER INJUSTICE. NOW... SHUT UP... AND LET ME FIGHT FOR YOU. YOU JUST NEED TO TELL MY STORY, WAIT ON ME, AND LISTEN WHILE YOU ARE WAITING. 

Slap in the face, eh? O yes! It is His story. Eric is His. He is working on my behalf! On Jacob's behalf! On Eric's behalf! Yes... He is! 

Now... me and God had some words... I still hate waiting... LOATHE waiting... and He knows it. I still want a picture of my boy... I wish it would hurry up... but I am believing God. I'm surrendering MY plans, MY dreams, MY timeline, MY... MY... MY.  I am trading my worry for His joy, and BOY, is it so much better! 

Beth... Beth Moore that is... gave me a holy slap to the face again this morning. Guess what it was about... WAITING!!! Isaiah 40:31 says that those who wait UPON THE LORD will renew their strength!!! Well, Beth made the point that, for the most part, when we are waiting on/for something and we are constantly discouraged and defeated it's because we are waiting UPON that thing/event and not on the Lord. OUCH!!! That was totally me - waiting UPONG the adoption, the picture, the paperwork, the approval, the hurry up... I WAS NOT WAITING UPON THE LORD!!! If I was waiting upon THE LORD, I would have had strength, joy, perseverance, and peace!!! I definitely did not have that!!! O... we must WAIT UPON HIM ALONE!!!! 

She also said something that encouraged me to infinity and BEYOND! She said, The longer we have to wait, the more the Lord is working for us in the heavenlies!!!! Yes, please work on our behalf!!! isn't that a cool thought though??? I love it! We wait... while He works... because He loves us that much! 

Now... onto my prayer words.  :)
So, since I got married, God has given me different WORDS to pray each year. 

2010 - FREEDOM
2011 - VICTORY
2012 - FAITH/BELIEVE

For 2013, I believe my word is AWARE!!! To be aware of His leading, His plans, and His love.  To know when to talk and when to shut up. To be AWARE of what He is doing... instead of forcing what I want to do.  Yep... awareness is what I need. I like this song for my 2013 prayer word anthem!