Freedom In Surrender!

First, happy birthday yesterday to one of my favorite people, Kelli! Thankful for my friend!!! Thankful for my pastor's wife!!! Thankful for our relationship... we are each other's comfort here in Troy! :) She's preggers BTW!!! YAY! 

Yep... FREEDOM IN SURRENDER! 

Usually when I think of surrender, I picture someone waving a little white handkerchief, symbolizing weakness and giving up... leading them to captivity under the enemy. Well... not with Jesus. You know, He likes to mix everything up... he likes oxymorons.. so, Surrender is Freedom. Let me explain...

Before Christmas... I literally felt CRAZY with anxiety... CRAZY... really! Anxious over the adoption... mad because we didn't have a picture of our cute fella... nervous that our paperwork was taking so long... upset because I couldn't control it... and just frazzled because that's how I am.  God FINALLY got my attention after a few melt downs... and said HEY! THIS IS MY ADOPTION JOURNEY... I JUST INVITED YOU TO BE A PART OF IT! I LOVE YOU. I FIGHT FOR THE ORPHANS. I WILL HAVE VICTORY OVER INJUSTICE. NOW... SHUT UP... AND LET ME FIGHT FOR YOU. YOU JUST NEED TO TELL MY STORY, WAIT ON ME, AND LISTEN WHILE YOU ARE WAITING. 

Slap in the face, eh? O yes! It is His story. Eric is His. He is working on my behalf! On Jacob's behalf! On Eric's behalf! Yes... He is! 

Now... me and God had some words... I still hate waiting... LOATHE waiting... and He knows it. I still want a picture of my boy... I wish it would hurry up... but I am believing God. I'm surrendering MY plans, MY dreams, MY timeline, MY... MY... MY.  I am trading my worry for His joy, and BOY, is it so much better! 

Beth... Beth Moore that is... gave me a holy slap to the face again this morning. Guess what it was about... WAITING!!! Isaiah 40:31 says that those who wait UPON THE LORD will renew their strength!!! Well, Beth made the point that, for the most part, when we are waiting on/for something and we are constantly discouraged and defeated it's because we are waiting UPON that thing/event and not on the Lord. OUCH!!! That was totally me - waiting UPONG the adoption, the picture, the paperwork, the approval, the hurry up... I WAS NOT WAITING UPON THE LORD!!! If I was waiting upon THE LORD, I would have had strength, joy, perseverance, and peace!!! I definitely did not have that!!! O... we must WAIT UPON HIM ALONE!!!! 

She also said something that encouraged me to infinity and BEYOND! She said, The longer we have to wait, the more the Lord is working for us in the heavenlies!!!! Yes, please work on our behalf!!! isn't that a cool thought though??? I love it! We wait... while He works... because He loves us that much! 

Now... onto my prayer words.  :)
So, since I got married, God has given me different WORDS to pray each year. 

2010 - FREEDOM
2011 - VICTORY
2012 - FAITH/BELIEVE

For 2013, I believe my word is AWARE!!! To be aware of His leading, His plans, and His love.  To know when to talk and when to shut up. To be AWARE of what He is doing... instead of forcing what I want to do.  Yep... awareness is what I need. I like this song for my 2013 prayer word anthem! 

F-R-E-E that spells FREE!!!

Yep. I like this here journal. My momma got it for me. This pretty much sums up what I've been learning and embracing the past 2 weeks... FREEDOM!!!!!

Sometimes I get in a rut of following rules... of playing the part. I don't like that. It is empty and full of lies. I don't want to follow the rules just because people expect me to.  I want to follow Jesus because I love Him. I want to live like He did because that's my heart's desire.  I don't want to appease everyone and what they think I should be or look like or whatever... I just want to be ME loving JESUS. That's all. That's FREEDOM.

Jesus doesn't come at us with a long list of rules.  Yes... He gives us His Word... but that's an invitation to love Him and to know Him.  He asks us to count the cost, to surrender our lives, and to live in FREEDOM and JOY and PEACE and HUMILITY and RIGHTEOUSNESS and HOLINESS.  He doesn't kick us out of His arms if we are a little too loud, have a tatoo or earrings, etc... He just wants to love on us... and us delight in Him in return.

I think we as Christians get SO consumed with following rules and performance sometimes that we forget to have FUN and LAUGH!!! Our job as Christ followers is to make Jesus attractive... because HE IS! If we constantly have our nose stuck in the air, never letting our hair down, and not laughing until we cry at times... Jesus seems boring, outdated, and truly just a Savior with a bunch of rules.  We don't do a good job making Him attractive. The church in Acts was attractive. I'm sure they laughed with JOY and worshipped like crazy.  Yes, they were probably terrified when faced with persecution... but people obviously wanted what they had to offer! Do people want what we have to offer?

So... LAUGH!!!! Laugh often. Have fun conversations. Throw a dance party (by yourself or with a group of friends!). Do some crafts.  Don't DO your TO DO list! Go out of your way to meet a stranger. WORSHIP like crazy. Talk about JESUS. LOVE Him... don't just follow rules.

We have to stop being up-tight Christians. The enemy so longs for us to be characterized as judgmental, rude, stuck up, boring people. Jesus wants His Bride to be known as life-givers, joyful, laughers, peaceful, and LOVING!

I love the 3 words on the journal... LIVE YOUR DREAM.  Golly... I want to.  I love my life right now... I really do, but there's something more I dream of.  I don't think it's in vain. I don't think it's stupid... although I used to.  To LIVE MY DREAM... I can't sit around and expect it to jump on my head... I have to pursue it. How? Nike says it best... just do it. What is my dream?? you may ask... I just want to love on women and girls. I want to speak (crazy... I know). I want to write. I want to love on people. I want to teach. I want to travel and meet people. I want to learn others' stories. I want to learn more about Jesus. I am so thankful for my job now and the opportunities I have with it and the people I know because of it... BUT my heart isn't okay with sitting in an office forever... no no no... it wants to GO! And I plan to.  I do NOT want to miss out on the BIG dream God has planted in me.  It is rooted in me. I am praying it will become reality. I am a dreamer...

My brain is exploding!

Hi there!! 


I just got home from a conference with 45,000 of my closest friends:

This, my friends, is the Passion Conference. It's ALL about JESUS!! 

I am in that picture... a microscopic speck at the front right of the stage.  God gave me the opportunity to interpret this mammoth of worship service!! Crazy I know! So amazing... I have interpreted for most of my favs. I would still like to interpret for David Platt, Priscilla Shirer, Angela Thomas, JESUS CULTURE, Kim Walker, and... N*Sync. ha! But... that's not the point. The point is..

MY BRAIN IS EXPLODING!! 

My brain seriously cannot process all that God is revealing and teaching me... that's why I haven't blogged... because my brain is a frazzled, spastic piece of mush.  I feel like laughing and screaming and shouting and fighting and praying and jumping and falling flat on my face ALL AT THE SAME TIME. It's not safe people! Ha! 

Jesus was amazing at Passion. He just worked... because we were open to Him. I saw Deaf people worshipping. I witnessed hurting people find JOY. I heard of stories of REDEMPTION and SALVATION. We raised our white flag to SURRENDER to Jesus.  We fought... and will continue to fight for FREEDOM!! Check out this video that CNN did about Passion's FREEDOM mission:

http://thecnnfreedomproject.blogs.cnn.com/ (click on the link, scroll down, it's the first video)

The news cast says that our goal was to raise $1,000,000... and it was.  But college students, poor, needy, crazy college students raised over $3,000,000 to end slavery in JESUS' name!!!! AWESOME! 

On that same note, listen to this song that will be released to radio... another way to become a voice for those who are trapped in slavery around the world! 

I think the main thing God is pressing on my heart RIGHT NOW is to LOVE people!! Really love them. 

Also, to be aware and available to the Holy Spirit at ALL times!! 

As I continue to figure out exactly what is going on my crazy head... I'll let you know.

Pray for FREEDOM around the world and for the hearts around you.  FREEDOM is my heart's prayer.