Truly Living in Twenty Twelve

Ahh... a great blogging hiatus... I love breaks. 


Christmas was great! I will share more about the holidays later.  


I just have to share what I've been challenged with through this book right here:

  You know... the Resolution for Women  birthed from the movie COURAGEOUS!!! 
My mom got it for a giveaway for something with the youth... I decided to keep it. :) It's slapping me in the face already.  
The book, by Priscilla Shirer (LOVE HER) goes through 13 slap-you-in-the-face resolutions that can only be accomplished with some Holy Spirit power!!! 
The first one is doozy! 








I resolve in the year 2012 and for the rest of my life to live as a woman of CONTENTMENT! AHH!!! We live in a world, a body, a mind that is ALL about some discontentment. You need more, you aren't good enough, you haven't done that, you haven't been there, blah, blah, blah. What would it look like for the woman who belong to Christ to live in CONTENTMENT? Most of the time in life... we are just there... I want to soak it in, relish it, cherish it, celebrate it, appreciate it.  Read her words... (I'm changing them a little...)


...Before us stretch another year, populated with all the things, people, events, relationships, and milstones that would make it a once-in-a-lifetime experience-my only chance to fully by the person I'd be at this age and in this season. Only for the coming year will my husband be exactly like THIS.... And if I chose to hurry through the year in an attempt to avoid the parts I didn't life (work, stress, confrontations, struggles, daily things, etc), I'd simultaneously miss all the things I WILL like about this season. 
If we rush through life, we will be subtly devaluing those around me and the experiences I will be involved in, not appreciating the important and significance they bring to my life in that very moment, not grasping my responsibility for holding dear and treating well these gifts God has entrusted to me!!!! 


AHH!!!! 


Got me like a dagger to the heart.  I so often wish for the weekend. I think about a future time in life when money is available. when friends live close. when life has no stress. when my work looks different. I NEED TO LIVE FOR THE HERE AND NOW and do what God has purposed me for NOW... 


I feel like Priscilla in a lot of ways... especially the past year:
Instead of embracing the privilege of being a blessing to my husband..., my friends, and others, I'd been quietly communicating that I wanted them to change and speed up, to get busy being somebody else, someone whose more in line with WHAT I WANT and NEED, hurry along to a place where they could make me happier than they currently do.


HOW SELFISH! How true of my heart sometimes... I DO NOT WANT THAT ANY MORE. 


I am resolving to be content. I want to live as a surprisingly content woman - inviting people to talk, knowing I will listen. loving on people no matter how "busy" I am or could be. cherishing the now with my hubby. treasuring the age of 24 and the life we live in Troy! I want to be refreshing... joyful... free... loving... and pointing to Christ... the source and reason I am content.


I don't want to be stingy with my time, energy, money, things, love... I want to give freely, KNOWING my God will overflow into me and satisfy me... MORE than satisfy me!!!! Yes, I want that! 


In 2012... I am to be a women marked by contentment in Christ, in who I am, in WHOSE I am, in what He is calling me to do/be, and in my season of life- WHATEVER that looks like. Yes, I know it's scary to say because we saw and experienced lives flipped upside down... shaken to the core, and never the same again. I am resolving to be content... no matter what.  Although circumstances change... my Savior DOES NOT!!!! AMEN! 


Wanna be content with me?? DIVE in to his love! His Freedom! 

Tis the season...

It's official.  We are an old married couple. We have been married for 2 years. I'm not sure when you have to stop using the "Newlywed" label... hmm... not sure.


We had a splendid celebrate fit for a nana!! We stayed home, Jacob cooked some yummy steaks, potatoes, salad, bread, and sweet tea!! It was delicious.  I made the dessert.  Please brace yourself for the beauty your eyes are about to behold.  After this creation, I have decided to quit my day job and become a cake decorator.  READY??!?!?!

I know... ridiculous, right? At least it was tasty! Props to you cake artists [pronounced ar-teeeeests] out there! After cake, we watched Jim Carrey's A Christmas Carol!! It was pretty darn good!! :)

Jacob got me flowers too.  I don't know why, but I love flowers. They just scream out BEAUTY and I just love them.  I never thought I would be one of the sappy wives who loves flowers... but I am. My favorite gift though, from anyone, hands down is a card!! I LOVE WORDS!! I love truth and encouragement and love. That's what I cherish!!! Here's the purdy flowers and our cute lil' chalkboard:

We did have an adventurous week before - maybe that makes up for our nana anniversary (I loved it btw).  Last week we had out youth tacky Christmas sweater party.  Here's me and the hubs enjoying a game of dirty Santa - and when I say DIRTY... I mean those kids were down right NASTY - just stealing gifts from anyone ~ didn't matter who or what... just MEAN!!! It was extremely fun though!! We love the little children! They make us smile! 

Last weekend we traveled to New Orleans to watch Jared, the brother-in-law graduate from Seminary... he's a preacher/missionary man! 

YAY for Jerald!!!! He worked hard and he (and Ashley) are done!!!! :) Yay!!! 

Isn't Jo (the babe) so precious??? I love her a lot! 

Now... NOLA is an interesting place to say the least. It's dark and evil in my opinion. We saw one of the mimes go BALLISTIC because a man touched his radio! I mean he went CRAZY!!!! It was very entertaining! 

This street right here... hurt my heart so very much. It's known for the sin and craziness that lives there... but it's just sad. So many lost people surrendering there lives to this.  We passed a voodoo shop. The sign on the door said:

Come In

Stange altars

Strange gods

I wish I had taken a picture of it, but I didn't. It is a sad but true statement of our lives. Yes, voodoo for real has strange altar and strange gods, but so do our lives. On the simplest terms out altar may be our couches, and the god our TV. In my life, my altar have been the walls I have built up and my strange god has been comfort and business. I want the ONE TRUE altar and the ONE TRUE God. I want to worship at the altar - the cross where I was set free. I want to delight in and follow the God who holds it all together. My heart hurts for the city of New Orleans - I pray that God does CRAZY work through the students at the seminary there. I have hope because God is the God of the city and the people and HE IS NOT DONE YET! 

More news: 

Today is my last day of work before CHRISTMAS BREAK starts!!! woot woot!! I'll be off for 2 and 1/2 weeks! YEAHH!!! 

Good things are happening. I am choosing JOY! I am seeing newness. I am seeing walls breaking down... not an overnight process FYI

EMILY is coming today!!! I'm PUMPED!! 

More to come later!!! 

Merry Christmas EVE EVE EVE!!! 

HaPpY aNnIvErSaRy To Me!

It's our 2 year anniversary!!! YEP!!! 2 years!! CrAzY!!! 


Here's us... pronounced husband and wife:

I was excited then for marriage... and I am even more excited now!! 

I love living life with Jacob! He's my man!! 

He knows me... REALLY knows me and he loves me more than I ever thought a boy could love me.

He takes care of me. 

He speaks truth to me.

We minister together.

We love on youth together.

We live life with friends together.

We give JOY to one another.

We laugh together.

We learn together.

I love life with my hunky hubby! 

my fav picture from the wedding - it's just us!

2  years ago today I become Mrs. Anna Morgan.

That was a great day. If you want to know more about that day... look at my ABOUT ME page! :)

I love marriage.

It's tough and crazy and sometimes I cause more craziness with all my hormones and ideas - but it's wonderful b/c my hubby loves me. I think he loves me more when I'm crazy... maybe not.

I love him. I love everything about being his wife.

Happy anniversary to us! :) 

The REAL me... learning REAL love

I've learned a lot about myself in the last little while. Ready for some honesty?


I've learned that I trust myself to fix things in my life (bad idea). I have learned that when I'm stressed, I NEVER see the big picture. I have learned that I do not LOVE people WELL when I am overwhelmed. I have learned that transparency is so good, but I struggle with it. 


I have learned that I have put up a HUGE wall between me and people.  I love to listen and mentor and be there especially for my girls, but I don't like being NEEDY... I really don't.  I don't like to let people in. I really don't. My husband knows me - he knows things about me that I don't want him to know about me - and sometimes it's hard for me to let him in and tell him my struggles and the deep me.  I don't know why... I guess it's just me being in control and trying to not seem needy.  But I am needy and I need people to KNOW me, to love on me, and to SEE me.  


I have especially put walls up between me and people in Troy.  I think I had in my mind that would never find a true friend in Troy because my best friends lived so far away.  Yes, that is true that my best friends live far away... but how wrong and selfish of me to think that God wouldn't provide women to confide in here. This whole time I have been convincing myself that I don't have a best friend here because of this and that... but it has been me the WHOLE stinking time.  There has been a best friend, I just put this wall up and refused to let anyone KNOW me - only the surface me. I have been terrified - I don't know why. She has been there... I'm sure she knew I had issues but I kept myself at a "safe" distance so our relationship has not been what it's suppose to be. It was my fault! What an awful realization! Well... I'm changing!!! By golly... I want to LOVE WELL! I want to love until people have to push me off because I am lavishing them with love like Christ has done to this hard, crazy heart!!! I want to be the friend we have both been longing for in this place we call home.  I want to love this lady well.

I want to love WELL new friends that the Lord has brought into my life. 

I want to cherish and continue pouring into old relationships like these: 

I want to make sure I always have time for visits, letters, phone calls, texts... and not be too busy with life and forget to delight in it! 

I want to LOVE my family WELL! 

I want to always love my husband WELL - to let him journey through life WITH me, to struggle WITH me, and not try to control everything.  I love him. He is a great husband.  He is my best friend. He takes care of me, loves me, and enjoys me. 

I want to be a good daughter and love my mommy WELL - she is wonderful. I could never explain or know everything she has done to love me WELL. She loves WELL - I want to be like my mommy.  When I was little, it was scary when my grandmother called me "Kay, Jr." because... well, it just was.  But, I would be proud to be called "Kay, Jr." now. I want to love people WELL like my mom does. 

I want to be a good grand-daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, niece, and all the in-betweens.

I want to always show appreciation to people who have impacted my life. I want to love them WELL: 

The amazing Kelly Vaughan

My heart wants to love WELL... 

Dabbles of December

Just some thoughts:

I feel like God has lifted a veil from my eyes. I am seeing things a lot clearer now. I can see a glimpse of the eternal... a little past the here and now.  

I see me for who I really am... filthy rags... exchanged for beauty at the cross. He is revealing my yucky-ness to me so that He can begin to clean me up.  It takes saying some sorry's, changing perspective on things, doing things different, and CHOOSING joy. I am choosing joy and choosing to SEEK and SEE Him everyday and in every situation - not to leave Him in my car at work and pick Him back up when I head home - but to INVITE and USHER Him into my work place to change me, my attitude, and this University. 

Next subject-

2 weekends ago, me and Haleigh had the awesome opportunity to have a worship retreat with some of the most beautiful ladies (inside and out). We took the 11th graders to Olive Garden (yum) and then to a nice retreat hotel where we had a night of worship, confession, crying, restoring, and praying.  It was wonderful.

These girls have been with me for almost 2 years. I have seen a LOT of Jesus in them. Crazy things have happened and I have so enjoyed journeying with them.  I was thinking about how next year they will be seniors... and graduating... and I got a bit teary... :( I don't like that thought.  They are wonderful.  I can't wait to spend more time with the younger ones coming up into too!!!! God has blessed us with some AMAZING girls in the youth group. What a crazy thing to think that He has entrusted their hearts to me to mentor and love on and teach!!! :) 

Here are our Christmas card pictures - which haven't arrived BTW!!! it was hilarious trying to get Walter to cooperate!! HAHA!! 

He was crazy and so confused. 

They turned our pretty darn cute I think.  Walter finally calmed down a bit once we gave him a toy and Jacob held his jaw in the upward position with all his might!!! haha!!! 

I love my lil' fam!! :)

My heart is excited. I'm looking forward to a lot of things.  Choosing joy even in financial craziness, work, business, waiting, seeking, searching, studying, learning, making friends, loving on old friends, and everything else God has in store!!! 

This lady is ready to be purified. I am ready to be filled, be satisfied. I'm ready to be taught. I'm ready to be different. I am teachable. 

Ever want to ESCAPE???

Have you ever wanted to ESCAPE??


I haven't had that feeling OFTEN in my life.  Yes, when I got/get in trouble... I want to run and hide in my room.  I know during my senior year of high school I had messed up a few times - just being a dumb teenage girl. I was trying to hard to be cool, not bold enough to be different, upset over a boy, and more - all led to VARIOUS problems and craziness in my life. Well... to add on all of that (I know that's not specific, but do you thing I'd tell ALL my junk one the world wide web? NO!)... I got a speeding ticket coming home from Spring Break.  I desperately wanted to escape. To morph into a different person until all my problems were gone and the trouble was over... I wanted to ESCAPE. Obviously, I couldn't... but, I survived....


Well... this semester there was nothing I wanted more than to ESCAPE.  So many times I would have rather been

HERE

OR HERE

or even HERE 

Isn't this bed HILARIOUS!!! But seriously... a lot of days I would have rather been in bed! 

or even HERE

Not WITH her! AH!! But... many times I have felt like her!!! And I just wanted to crawl in a closet and hide!!! 

I have wanted to ESCAPE like never before. I have wanted to escape work. lies. people's apathy. unjustice. the church's traditions. responsibilities. relationships. conversations. confrontations. worries. bitterness. uncertainty. facing myself. blogging.

I have just wanted to ESCAPE!!! And I couldn't. Unfortunately, there's no pause button on life. So I have felt beyond frazzled most times. I haven't been depressed at all... just wanting and longing for something else.  The best way to put it is... FRAZZLED and OVERWHELMED!!!!!  My poor husband has had to deal with me... he's a good man. My Truth Speaker. 

A Matthew West song has rang SO TRUE in my life this semester. It's called "Stop the World." 

I’m tired and empty
This life is relentless
It weakens my knees
And breaks my defenses
It’s wearing me down and I’m desperate to hear from You...

Stop the world I wanna get out

I need an escape away from this crowd

Just to hear You speak to me

Stop the world I’m ready to listen

Show me sign, give me a vision of heaven

I can hold on to

Stop the world I need some time with You

This has SO been the cry of my messy heart. I have just wanted to stop the world. To pause. To spend time with my Abba Daddy. To be held. To listen. TO HEAR HIM - it has felt pretty quiet lately. I have just been tired, messy, CRAZY.  I have been captured in a lot of STUFF. I am having to search HARD for TRUTH. separate the lies. fight for joy. battle to love people. it's not fun.

We often bring the chaos on ourselves. I haven't caused all of my imprisonment... but I did cause a lot. I WANT TO ESCAPE!! I would like escape physically and go to a nice beach with no worries EVER, but that's not going to happen. 

So, today I chose to fight. I chose to run to the problem(s), confront them, and DO RIGHT. I don't like confrontation. I don't like admitting wrong and exposing wrongs of others. I like everyone to be happy... but I have to be real - this world is fallen and sinful and needs some love and light. I have to be that on the campus of Troy University. I, ANNA, have to speak TRUTH when no one else is. I have to be JOY when no one else is.  I have to FIGHT for what is right when I am the only one. I have to listen and look in the mundane for what I am to be, and do, and live, and say, and follow.  I can't trust, whole-heartedly, people - only HIS truth. It's really hard to distinguish that when you are bombarded by false all day, every day. 

Today, I chose to fight. I didn't solve the world's problems or even all of mine... but it is the beginning of a TRUTH battle. That's what I'm calling it. My God is VICTORIOUS in everything and I know He is fighting for me now.  I can't use selfish motivations, others' wrongs, or my opinions to battle.. only His truth and His warrior guidance. I will follow. 

I don't know if my post made sense. I don't care. I needed/wanted to write it.  That's why I haven't been blogging... I have just wanted to ESCAPE. I am back. I have armored up with TRUTH and BOLDNESS and LOVE and JUSTICE and I am back... ready to JUMP IN. to LIVE. to EMBRACE. to FIGHT. to SEEK!

Oh Christmas...

It's Christmas time!!! 

Some of you are probably like... no, it's not. It's just December 2nd.  Well... it's been Christmas time for me since about... oh... November 1st!! I love this time of year! It's just wonderful. It's joyous and it just makes my heart happy.  If I'm listening to Christmas music, I don't care that I'm at work or that it's cold and my checks are freezing off or that my hair didn't do what I wanted it to do or that my belly is hungry... I'm just jolly because it's Christmas!! I can't explain it.  It's just the facts. 

This year especially, our house is filled with Christmas joy. Jacob and I have both fought for and with JOY all year!! We will celebrate!! We will decorate with JOY. We will give with JOY. We will pay bills with JOY. We will remember and treasure our Savior's birth with JOY!

Please note the Christmas plates on the shelves and the JOY decorations - these were Jacob's decorating ideas. He's my regular little Martin Stewart! :) 

This is our Christmas tree

It's actually pretty and funny. Jacob was SO upset.  We were decorating and listening to Christmas music because that equals PERFECTION.  Suddenly, Jacob cries out, "ANNA, COME HERE!" So I run in the living room thinking is horribly wrong.  His face is so distraught and troubled. He has the pieces of our fake Christmas tree in his hands. He looks up at me and says, so sadly, "our Christmas tree is... black." I doubt him, but with a closer look it most certainly is black.  We had this same tree last year, but we suspect that the green carpet in the trailer made the Christmas tree look more green.  We even looked on the box.  Sure enough, it's called "Colorado Black Pine Tree." HA! Who knew?  Jacob is upset about this blunder.  But, with lights on it and the light not on... it looks like a normal guy! Jacob said he wouldn't tell anyone that our tree is gothic, but EVERY person that has come to our house... he has told. Ha! 

I like our tree. It has our special ornaments from our wedding with notes from our closet friends and family on it. It has ornaments we've been given as a couple. And, of course, my favorite Disney character ornaments - those cannot be left out!!! :) 

In this Advent time of waiting and preparing and cherishing the most amazing story of humility - the birth of our Savior - I will choose to WAIT with patience and joy.  I am waiting on many things in my life right now... and I'm learning to do so with patience, with hope, with joy, with passion, with PRAYER! As the world waited so long for a Savior so many years ago, remember and CHERISH Him this holiday season. TALK ABOUT HIM. Worship Him. Seek Him. Rejoice in Him. 

I'll leave you with my favorite Christmas video of ALL times!!! :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS TIME!!!