worry or SEEK

I'm back... It's been a while.  Ya know... again... sometimes... you just don't want to blog! ha! 

I'm not going to fill you in on the past 3 weeks... that overwhelms me just thinking about it. Ha! And you prob don't care anyways.

BUT... we did have have a Women's Retreat at our church this weekend. It was truly AWESOME!!!! It really was. It just filled my heart so full! We had over 50 women come out for the weekend... to laugh and learn and eat and just be women! It was WONDERFUL! 

We called the weekend the "SEEK HIM FIRST" Women's retreat and we featured Sarah Ott as the speaker.  Check her out... she's AMAZING and loves the Lord like a dog loves a bone... literally! Her website is www.establishher.org! If you need a speaker for a youth girls/women event... she's your lady! 

I had the privilege of planning and leading this event with the other church staff's wives, Kelli and Dawn. 

They are amazing and I'm SO thankful for them! :) So cool how God gave each of us ideas for the weekend and He brought them all together! 

**Hope you like my sophisticated look in the spectacles!!! Was having MAJOR eyeball issues... probably due to lack o' sleep! 

Now... let me tell you what happened and how God just did IMMEASURABLY MORE than I asked or imagined... just in MY LIFE during the weekend.

So... last week I was beyond frazzled. I overbooked myself about 4 times over every night and day of the week. I was FREAKING out about the referral email from the adoption agency... hoping it would come and becoming SUPER anxious about it. I have done... OKAY... since we have sent our dossier while we are waiting for the infamous email.  BUT I did NOT do okay last week.  I was a nervous wreck and, honestly, angry at God. In my mind God was not showing up, He was not working on my behalf... and HE WAS LATE! I believed that if He was big enough He could get us that email if I prayed for it... and He hadn't.  YUCK! As ugly as all of this sounds that's where my heart was. I was believing that He was letting us down, that He Word says that He defends the fatherless and cares for the orphans so I was upset that I wasn't able to go get my kiddos NOW! I was angry and bitter. I was WORRIED and beyond anxious. I didn't even want to spend time with Him... that is so disgusting to even type. 

Over the weekend we broke down Matthew 6:33:

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

This is right after Matthew tells us not to worry about anything... Matthew 6 is pretty much the anxiety chapter. Don't worry... don't worry... over and over again.  And then He says... BUT (so instead of worrying) SEEK HIM FIRST!!! We are to SEEK Him in place of worrying.  Here was my big take away from the weekend that I will remember for the rest of my life:

Worry and SEEKING the LORD CANNOT coexist! 

Period! 

I am either WORRYING or I am SEEKING! 

When I am worrying, I am claiming that He isn't good or faithful... that He isn't even God. When we worry we aren't trusting! When we worry... we are claiming He is NOT who He says He is and He canNOT do what He says He can do! 

When we are SEEKING... we are taking our concerns to Him and truly TRUSTING Him... not just talking to Him about it! We are SEEKING HIM!!! HIS FACE! Not just His hand and His actions... but HIM!!! WHO He is! I do not need to focus on the WHAT... or even the HOW... only the WHO! 

Another thing I learned (I learned alot... I basically preached a whole sermon to Jacob and Stephanie after the first night of all the holy slaps in the face I received) is that the Bible is a means to an end.  JESUS is the END and the destination... memorization of Scripture and knowing the Word is only the avenue TO Him! 

We are to study the Word to know the Living Word! 

Many times I study the Bible to know... the Bible. I don't always study the Bible to know JESUS... and I am missing the main character in it all.  We are to know Him!  His Word is His heart in writing... but too often I get caught up in Bible study... and forsake resting in the author. 

This weekend was incredible... and so refreshing.

I can't wait until the next women's retreat! 

Birthday and Resting...

First... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOST FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD! 

Jacob's day of birth is today! woot woot! 

I love birthdays... especially for people in my house! I love to decorate and eat lots of cake (tooooo much cake last night... ouch!) and spoil the birthday-ee! Our kitchen looks like Party City threw up in there right now, but... I love celebrating! And I love this breaded fella pictured here! :) So... Happy Birthday Jacob! You are wonderful! 

On a completely different note... here's my passage for the week from the Message version: 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Matthew 11:28-30

I know I've shared this passage before... but it means something different to me in different seasons of life. 

Right now...

No... I'm not physically tired but I'm sure tired of waiting. 

Am I worn out? Not physically... but definitely YES in other ways.

Am I burned out on religion? O yes. I am NOT in any way burned out on my faith - I am learning much each day. But I am more than burned out on complacent, mediocre, apathetic, indifferent church-ianity! It makes me bitter. It makes my heart hurt so bad. It makes me mad. It makes me want to vomit. It's not any church in particular...  but when we as Christians ignore the amazing mercy we receive each and everyday and choose to cross our arms and go through the motions we are screaming with our body language that His sacrifice meant little.

Jesus says to come to Him... and that's where I head everyday... or try to. He will teach us to rest... and He is teaching.  He will work with us... in the most gracious of ways.  When I think of RESTING... I think of climbing into bed after a long, busy day and just releasing all your weight and sinking into the fluffy mattress. That is the best feeling ever. That is what Jesus is offering us... to release all our weight onto Him and just... R.E.S.T. 

That is good...

He is teaching me that He is passionately waiting alongside us for Eric and Ziggy. He is always working on our behalf and He longs to be gracious to His children. Adoption is hard... waiting sucks... but Jesus is waiting with us. He holds the orphan's hands and loves them greatly... adoption is His heart... He is waiting too. He is waiting for the perfect time that He can unite our family and continue our story in Troy.  I must rest in the fact that God is for us, that He fights for the fatherless, and that He has called us to this for such a time as this! He is faithful. - but... can I just get a picture?!?!?!?! Just askin'...

He is teaching me to LOVE His church passionately and to show the love of Jesus RECKLESSLY! To not give up or stay bitter... but to press into relationships. To try not to control results of efforts but to trust and rest in HIS power and plan. To not get offended by people's comments or grimaces. To rejoice in the moments of HOPE and CHANGE and PROGRESS. To LOVE His CHURCH! 

I will choose to watch Him and learn from Him...

To learn about grace... unforced

To live in freedom of His peace and guidance...

I will certainly get away with Him and sit with Him... that is where true peace is...

I don't want unneeded burdens that I place on myself...

I am thankful for this invitation Jesus gives us.

Are you tired? Are you exhausted? Are you doubting? Are you fearful? Are your worried?  Busy out your mind?

GO TO HIM! 

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them,“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

Mark 6:31

Hellur Again...

I've been slackin'... O well. Lots going on so blogging just hasn't happened.

I just can't wait until I can blog and post pictures of our kiddos... I think I've just been boycotting in hopes that NOW would be the time... but we shall wait some more. 

So lately...
Here's my super cute family on Easter! :) Poor dogs... you can't even see Jubi's face because she's so black... and Walt obviously did not want a picture... but life's hard! We had a good Easter- church, lunch with the Knick's, and time at home. Thankful for Jesus. 

Check out how awesome my hunny is!!! 

He made us an end table (we are selling them for adoption money too if you are interested - $75)! It looks great in the house! And he framed my Africa poster that I got at a market in Kenya!! It's been rolled up and in a secure location for 3.5 years... it was time to give the thing it's rightful place! I LOVE IT!!!! I... well Jacob... hung up the other pictures with it too - it's now the mission trip wall/room. I FINALLY feel like it's okay to start thinking about decorating the kiddos rooms. THAT'S A BIG DEAL!! I have prayed that God would not let me start thinking about that stuff until it was the right time. I'm thinking about it... and we are having to move around lots of stuff to get ready for their arrival!  The Africa pictures and college collages are having to find new homes... but that's COMPLETELY fine because we'll have our kiddos and all will be right with the world! 

**On that note... we are now just waiting for Belize to send us PICTURES and medical information and... TRAVEL DATES!!!**

That could be this week, this month.... or way later.

I've had more Origami Owl jewelry parties! I love that job - it's super fun! You meet new people, learn their stories, and sell really awesome and unique jewelry! 

Look how cute and presh this necklace is???!!!! 

O... the pups. Ya know... since my human kiddos aren't here yet, I'll just show you the furry kiddos. They are nuts! Seriously... NuTz! They are fun though. 

Jubi sheds like a man woman, likes to bark at Walter, hides under the couch and gets stuck in the couch cover and yelps until someone rescues her, and SHE POOPED IN THE FLOOR THIS MORNING... almost killed her. Good thing she's cute.

This weekend we went up to Birmingham... it was a whirlwind of a weekend! I got to do everything I set out to do... but it was crazy busy! I had breakfast with my Nanny and Pawpaw, had an Origami Owl party, went to see my cloggers at their competition, went to an adoption fundraiser my awesome youth pastor's wife held for us, dinner for the birthday week boy, and then back to the competition for awards!!!!! I got to do it all with my mom so that made it even better! It was wonderful. And my girls are so stinkin' cute! They did awesome! 

Sunday morning I got to eat with my dad, brother, sister-in-law, niece - Ava, and nephew - Barrett! It was so good to spend time with them... it doesn't get to happen very often! 

It's also my Ava, Barrett, and my brother's b-day! So... naturally... Cracker Barrel brought out birthday cake for her breakfast treat! :) 

This 4 year old is just adorable!  

Wait for the Lord,

Be strong and take heart

and WAIT for the Lord.

Psalm 27:14