being a woman...

So this week, I have had the opportunity to BE A WOMAN!! It's been fabulous!

I got to go to my FIRST EVER women's Bible Study!!!! I got to participate and it was for "adults." Very exciting to my easily amused heart! The women at my church are going through a summer Bible study - Brave by Angela Thomas!!! It's phenomenal! Lately, I haven't felt that I'm suppose to have a supplement to reading the Bible. I tried some... the good ones... Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer... - but kept feeling like He ONLY wanted me to have HIS WORD! I don't think Bible Studies are "bad," but we can't replace STUDYING THE BIBLE with a study on the Bible through someone else's experiences/opinions. Anyways... God has assured me that this is a study for me! The study is titled: BRAVE: HONEST QUESTIONS WOMEN ASK! Yes, PLEASE!!! :) I love honestly and I love learning from other women... then I read the topics we would be studying - the common struggles that WOMEN have:
I am afraid to dream big.

I am worn out.
I am suffering with a thorn.
I am undisciplined.
I am trembling inside.
I am invisible.
I am broken.
AHHH!!!! Yes, PLEASE!!! That is me and I'm SO happy that I'm not the only messy woman in Troy! :) I'm so excited about how He is going to reveal Himself to me through this study and AS I CONTINUE to read His Word! - I'm still in Deuteronomy and LOVING it! Who knew!?  I will probably talk alot about what I'm learning through this so GET READY women!! :)

This week was Vacation Bible School and our church does it a little different for the youth. Most churches allow make the youth teach/work VBS. We actually have youth VBS.  It's more laid back, mature, different curriculum, and more... youthy. I had to come to the realization that the youth is JACOB'S JOB! :( I know you are like... yea... duh! But I love his job. I love being there and investing in the girls' lives and just ministering all day. I wish I could have been a bigger part of VBS, but I couldn't... b/c I'm an adult and have a job.  I had to realize that I am CALLED to have a different job right now. My job is my mission field and my loyalty is here. I don't like that I can't be involved in EVERY activity that happens with the youth group, but MY GOD is bigger and KNOWS what He's doing. One day... I'm not going to work OR have create a job for myself that is a girls/Deaf missions position!!! That would be the dream! And I'm learning how to DEARM BIG so here I go! :) Anyways... VBS was great! Jacob and Haleigh did an AWESOME job and the youth adore them. I love seeing people being used to serve and glorify the Lord! :)

More "womany" things - I am filling out my paperwork to become full time FINALLY!!!! :) SOOOO exciting but so complicated! insurance (yay for state benefits!). retirement (wow! i start and plan when i finish - crazy!). life insurance (morbid). and all the other womany things.  It's exciting to be signing my life and time away! I'm excited about this change in my life and hope other changes will accompany it! ***pray for house process - i'm not going to talk about it b/c i feel REALLY STUPID when it falls through so just pray for closure***

I am also learning that I am not superWOMAN. I long to be good at everything... but I can't. I am happy that I can't. I am satisfied knowing that HE is the only adequate One. He is my strength, my passions, my rest, my abilities, my character. It's not a fun lesson to learn though - I can't do it all....