If it seems we are crazy...

CAMP! I LOVE CAMP! It's kinda weird how much I love camp! 

This year we went to Student Life again... but to Lee University in Cleveland, TN. This year was a lot different than last year. Yes, different place. different worship leaders. different people. smaller camp. But it just felt different. 

I was a little nervous going into it because I was signed up to lead a family group again.  I was nervous because I had THE BEST FAMILY GROUP EVER last year! I mean I seriously did. I knew whatever group I got this year, I would be comparing to my last group... tough to compete. 

So... when I arrived to camp I got my family group roster, and to my surprise I had SIX (6) from our youth group! AHHHH!!! Strangers... I can handle... I like them... they appreciate my awkwardness.  PEOPLE I KNOW... yikes... it meant I had to make it meaningful and fun for them regardless of the fact they knew me!! A little scary.

BUT... God is good and He knows what He's doing! It was a fantastic week and I'm SOOO thankful for my family group... they were amazing!!! 

No big deal... but the picture above is of our family group winning the AMAZING RACE game. Yep... we won! Go FG #41!! We were pretty proud... because we are obnoxiously competitive! 

This was one of my favorite things... I got to RE-name each of them with what they thought their identity is in Christ.  I made name tags for each one and we wore them. I love the idea of Christ giving us a new name (Jacob to Israel, Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah, etc)... and many of the students in my group were aching for a new start... a new identity... a new name... so that's what Jesus did for us all last week.  Sweet time. VERY humbled that he CHOOSES to use me... 

Now... the youth group! 

God did so many things... I can't even begin to explain it all. last year... for our group... it was much more of an event... this year (my hope and prayer) is that it was a catalyst for transformations.  Lots of deep things were beginning in our youth! As one of the girls said... last year was an event... an exciting time together with Jesus... this year it was more about falling in love with Him.  AMEN SISTA! 

I can't explain everything that happened last week, but I can tell you what He did with and in me. 

So... ever feel CRAZY?  I DO! I mean I feel like this (my pic) on the inside most days... often my face probably looks like this.  But it's just who I am.  I often feel CRAZY... but I hold back... I don't love with abandon. I don't pray with full expectation. I often live in fear of who God is calling me to be. I feel absolutely crazy when I look around and feel so different than how others are acting around me.  I don't understand how Christians can read the Word and live like they/I do, how they/I can worship Jesus with frowns on their faces and hands in their pockets, and how we/they are satisfied with mediocrity when Jesus calls us to go deeper... still!!! I really feel CRAZY.  God has given me extreme passion for lots of things... 

This is where my heart ALWAYS longs to be... listening, teaching, discipling, and witnessing transformation.

But often times I feel my heart settles so that my physical self will fit in better with the culture around me. SO WRONG! Well... the last night of camp I was just doing my normal worship... you know the jumping, shouting, dancing stuff.  All of sudden I feel like God is telling me to sit down. I'm like... hello God but I'm going crazy worshipping you.  He keeps insisting that I just sit down.  So... I finally give in and sit.  He tells me to breath in deep. So I do.  He just whispers to me that I am breathing HIM in. That's it's His breath and His CRAZYness in me. He tells me I'm not crazy. He assures me I'm not too much (I often feel like people think I'm too much... or not enough). He loved on me in a way that only He can. And it's because I was willing to stop doing what was good (worshipping outloud) and choose what was best... RESTING in Him and LISTENING to Him. 

Then... Tony, the speaker, starts off His sermon in 2 Corinthians... talking about Paul.  I have no idea what he was saying honestly because I couldn't stop my emotions from oozing out, but God shouted out one passage to me:

³ If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit.¹⁴ Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. ¹⁵ He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them.

Yes. Yes. Yes! 

It's for Him... it IS Him. :) 

If I'm "crazy" or feeling that way... it's for HIM alone. If I'm acting "normal" it's for the people... so Jesus will be attractive regardless!!! SO STINKING GOOD! Glad Paul felt crazy too! It gives me hope! :)

Thankful I have a partner to be CrAzY with... a man who loves the Lord and loves his crazy wife. 

Thankful for the week at Student Life.

Thankful for life-changing God encounters.